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The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car

Dao Thu Ha 1 / -  
Dec 14, 2019   #1

commuting by car in the uk

The line graph compares the figure for the number of people travelled by 3 categories in the UK in the period 60 years from 1970.
Overall, it can be seen that car is by far the most popular means of transport throughout the period shown. While the number of people using car and train increases gradually, the number of bus users drops steadily.

In 1970, the number of people travelling by car is highest, around 5 million on a daily basis, meanwhile, the bus users and train users is lower, 4 million and 2 million respectively.

In the year 2000, the commuters travelled by car rises gradually to 7 million. Likewise, the number of Rail passengers increases by 1 million from 1970 to 2000. By contrast, the figure for bus users decreased slightly to approximately 3.5 million.

By 2030, the number of those people who will commute by car is expected to reach almost 9 million. The train users are predicted to rise slightly, around 5 million, making it hold the runner - up, in comparison with the others. However, the number of people working by bus is likely to less popular choice, approximately 3 million daily users.

Maria - / 1,100 389  
Dec 15, 2019   #2
@Dao Thu Ha
Hello! Welcome to the forum.

Next time, it would be beneficial and practical for you to incorporate the graph that you are reviewing to give us a better idea on what you are reviewing.

First and foremost, from the get-go, I think that you are struggling when it comes to the proper usage of tenses. When making analytical essays, it's always smarter to use past tense, especially since you are reviewing data that has already passed. Given that, try implementing this on the entire writing.

Furthermore, using the appropriate punctuation marks can go a long way. If we review the third line/paragraph, it was clear that you needed to incorporate either a semi-colon or a period midway because you were already unnecessary dragging the sentence. The same goes for the latter parts of the essay. Doing this will improve how academic your writing will be received. The same goes for your last paragraph especially.
windy 2 / 4  
Dec 15, 2019   #3
@Dao Thu Ha
Dear Ha , Your ideas are great , it seem a poplar pattern to each person learning ielts but i think you should use past simple and future simple instead of using present simple .
Ghitamalia 3 / 4 2  
Dec 15, 2019   #4
Hi @Dao Thu Ha

Let me give you some comments:

Firstly, please upload the image, so we as reader know the question well.

Next, I suggest you to use simple past for past events and use simple sentence. For example:

... by car is was thehighest, ..., meanwhile, the bus users and train users is lower....

It will be better if you write:

that of bus and train passengers was lower ....

Hope it helps.

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