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Task 1-The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the UK

hazelpham 1 / 1  
Jul 9, 2021   #1

structure of the young population in the UK

The line graph depicts the proportion of citizens under 20 years old divided into 4 main age groups in the United Kingdom from 1990 to 2001.
In general, the ratio of infants from 0 to 4 years old witnessed a dramatic downfall, whereas that of 5-9, 10-14, and 15-19 children age groups saw an opposite movement.

In 1990, roughly just over a quarter of the total population of the UK was children from 4 to 10 years old and from 15 to 19 years old. After reaching its peak at 26,5% in 1992, the figure for infants started to fall steadily to just under 24% in 2001, which was matching with that of 15-19 years old adolescents in 1999. In terms of 15-19 children's percentage, which sharply dropped in the nearly first half of the given period and bottomed out at 23% in 1994, followed by a gradual increase to 25% in 2001.

Furthermore, 5-9 and 10-14 years old children groups increased steadily from 25% for the former and 23% for the latter to 26% and precisely 25%, respectively and this matched with the number of infants in 1997. At which point, the ratio of 10-14 group saw a steep upward to just over 26% in 2001. By contrast, a slight fall to 25% was experienced by the 5-9 youngsters' group at the end of the period.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15043 4827  
Jul 10, 2021   #2
The essay should not be longer than 175 - 200 words. The writer is risking not being able to complete the report in 20 minutes. Time allotment should be as follows:

5 minutes - image assessment
10 minutes - report drafting
5 minutes - editing, proofreading, and finalizing

Not all 20 minutes should be devoted to writing alone.

The essay is too wordy and needs to focus on direct data presentation instead. The more concise , the better. The writer shows limited grammar skill as he is unable the use other punctuation marks aside from the commas and periods. Use of semi-colons, parenthesis, and other appropriate punctuation marks would have made the essay more informative with lesser word usage.
OP hazelpham 1 / 1  
Jul 10, 2021   #3
Thank you so much for your feedback.

Home / Writing Feedback / Task 1-The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the UK
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