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The graph below shows the employment rate of each gender in four different countries in 2002.

Lemonsiuer 1 / -  
Sep 13, 2022   #1

employment rates - graph analysis

The bar graph below shows the employment rates of men and women in four different countries, South Africa, Chile, Finland, Norway in 2002.

Overall, it is clear that the proportion of men working is always higher than women in four countries. It is also evidence that the employment figures in both Finland and Norway of the two sexes is relatively close. The opposite is true in Chile where the employment percentage has the biggest gap between the two genders.

Looking at the bar graph more closely, one can see that nearly 80 percent in Norway were in work, which makes them the group with the highest employment rate out of the four countries. Chile and Finland followed closed behind at roughly 70 percent. However, the percentage of South African men that had jobs were low compared to the others countries,at only 50 percent. As was the case with men, Norway also had the highest women employment rate, at above 70 percent. Finland was second with around 67%. The rates in South Africa and Chile were lower, both only has only one-third of women working. Moreover, Chile female employment rate is only half when compared to their counterparts.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,204 4317  
Sep 13, 2022   #2
The summary overview is difficult to follow becausethe writer chose to use a single sentence to represent information that should have been clearly spread out over 3 sentences, excluding the trending statement. The use of run-on sentences in the summary overview is a common mistake among ESL students which often results in a failing GRA and C+C preliminary score. Next time, aim for clarity by spreading out the information over several sentences. Nobody has ever lost points for it in the actual test. They actually gain points for it.

A trending statement refers to a particular trend that carries a commonality for all the countries involved. It does not mean that the writer needs to say something about each country, making it look like a trend, when it clearly is not. That affects the clarity of the trending statement since, in this case writer was not serving up a trend anymore but rather, offering a reporting paragraph already.

The writer has incorrectly formatted this essay by only providing a single reporting paragraph. The task 1 essay is always composed of 2 reporting or analytical paragraphs. The summary overview and trending statement is not considered a part of the reporting paragraphs.

Home / Writing Feedback / The graph below shows the employment rate of each gender in four different countries in 2002.