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The graph below shows information about the total oil consumption of four major consumers from 2009

tranhuongg 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2020   #1

The oil consumption graph

The line graph compares four different countries in terms of the amount of oil consumed between 2009 and 2030.
Overall, there was an increase in the oil consumption in China and Middle East over the period shown, while the proportion of oil consumed in the USA and Western Europe vs Japan declined. It is also clear that the USA had constantly the highest figure from 2009 to 2030.

In 2009, the consumption of oil in the USA started at 9 millions of Barrel, after which is seeing a slight increase to about 10 millions, before ending the period of exactly 6 millions of Barrel each day. A similar trend was experienced in the proportion of oil consumed in Western Europe vs Japan, which decreased gradually by 3 million from 2009 to 2015 and then predicted to be followed by a slight drop of around 1 millions fifteen years later.

The oil consumption of by residents in China and Middle East all represented around 4 millions in 2009 and rose until 2015. It is predicted that the figure of Chinese will reach 4 million by 2030 while the amount of oil consumed in the Middle East is lower around 3 million of Barrel in 2030.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,312 3348  
Nov 29, 2020   #2
It is difficult for me, as the examiner to create a mental picture of the report you have written. I cannot imagine the data provided because you failed to properly summarize the target data based on the image provided. Without the actual image, I cannot judge if you accurately paraphrased the presentation from the original, by changing most of the keywords or, if you simply used the same words, which would have reduced your LR score. You have not given me a good idea as to what measurements were used, how the measurements were arrived at. You mentioned a comparison of 4 different countries but you mentioned 5 in the actual report. This creates an error in your presentation. It makes your data inaccurate and lacking in validity.

All of the paragraphs need to be of uniform length, 3-5 sentences per paragraph. Your last paragraph is short by one sentence. That means you did not do a very accurate job of reporting information in relation to that aspect of the report. Again, you have to provide the image when you post your essay so that I can give you more appropriate advice regarding how to improve your data reporting.

Home / Writing Feedback / The graph below shows information about the total oil consumption of four major consumers from 2009