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The graph shows how population grow in two different countries over the period of 50 years.

hoangoanh0204 1 / 1  
Sep 7, 2019   #1
The line graph belows shows population figures for India and China since the year 2000 and predicted population growth up until 2050

Description of the graph given

*This is the first time I describe a graph, and the first time I prepare for the IELTS test, by the way. Thus, hope you guys will help me to correct it and give me the mark plz. tks


The provided line graph illustrates how population grow in two different countries over the period of 50 years.
Obviously, the habitants in China predictively decline, while in India the level of population dramatically increase.
In 2000, the number of Chinese is around 1,25 billions, whereas, in India the population is lower 0,25 billion. At present, the rate of population in China slightly goes up over 1,4 billion. In contrast, India's population continuously rises (1,3 billion).

According to the graph, from 2020 to 2050, the population growth between the two nations have different directions. While the figure of India soars to 1,6 billion, the population in China falls to 1,4 billions after approximate 25 years of rising.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Sep 9, 2019   #2
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! I hope this feedback somehow enlightens and assists you in any way.

Firstly, I would be cautious with the fundamentals that are necessary for you to be cautious of when writing. This pertains to, for instance, the usage of tenses when you are writing. Try to read up again on the rules of agreements for verbs and nouns to ensure that you are not straying away from this.

Consistency is key when you are writing. It is critical that you retain a formal tone when writing. Notice how you had shifted to explicitly mentioning the numerical factors involved (see the third line) and to the usage of parenthesis to explain the detail. I would opt that you stick with the usage of smaller details instead of these to help you in the long-run establish a firmer tone.

This also goes for the phrases you are using to describe the language. Take, for example, the paragraph. Instead of saying "two nations have different directions", you could have opted to say that they were diversifying from each other. Adding small quirks such as this would enhance the look of your writing from simplified to a more professional standard.
OP hoangoanh0204 1 / 1  
Sep 12, 2019   #3
thanks a lot. So, could you please to give me the band of this essay?
pleiziii 1 / 2 1  
Sep 15, 2019   #4
I think you should look up more the structures of this kind of task and many useful tips of how to point out main features of a graph. This piece of your writing is likely to receive a low band. However, since it is your first time, I ensure that you can improve much more in the future.

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