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Ielts Writing Task 1: The graph shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.

duchuynhtan 1 / -  
Aug 5, 2018   #1

number of TV viewers and radio listeners in the uk

The line graph indicates the changes in the proportion of audiences listening to radio and watching television during the day in 1992.
A quick glance at the graph reveals that there was a downward trend in the amount of radio and television audiences.
At 6 a.m, the figure of radio listeners registered the highest between the two, standing at below 10% of UK population. Then, at around 8:45 a.m, the number increased considerbly to about 26% of UK population. Nonetheless, it declined sharply to roughly 3% of UK population at nearly 6 a.m of next day.

With a similar trend, the bumver of television viewers stood at under 5% of UK population at 6 a.m. After that, at 8 p.m, there was a dramatic rise reaching approximately 45% of UK population. Finally, at nearly 6 a.m of next day, it plunged to around 5% of UK population.

Minh2903 6 / 13 3  
Aug 6, 2018   #2
The length of the essay just barely meet the requirement, I suggest that it is best that it should be around 160-170 words. Maybe, you could extend your overview.

Overall, I think this is a quite good writing, grammar accuracy is in well-controlled, the types of structure are diverse too, and you could pay more attention to the word choice. There are several points you need to correct:

+ It is "the figure for.." not "the figure of.."
+ the statistics in this graph are in %, use paraphrased words like " percentage" or " rate" instead of " the number"
+"there was a dramatic rise to reach a peak of approximately 45%..."
+ there is a lack of comparison between two lines, this could reduce points in task response.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,194 3644  
Aug 6, 2018   #3
Huynh, if you review the graph notes, you will see that there is a clear indication of the measurements being given in the percentage specifically for the UK population over the age of 4. The information you gave for the graph does not include the reference to the age range that was part of the survey that was done. Therefore your information is going to be viewed by the examiner as either inaccurate due to the lack of survey reference point or misinformed due to the reference to the age of the general population rather than the age of 4 and above. Such an error / missing information in the summary overview could affect your overall TA score because you did not accurately summarize the information for the task. That is proof of a lack of proper analytical ability on your part.

Your trending statement is also incomplete as it does not clarify that the downward trend is shown in the graph as happening for both television and radio audiences starting at 6 p.m. You were also not careful with your spelling. There is no such term as "bumver", you meant to say "number". Whether you are hand writing this essay or typing it, you need to be conscious of your spelling. Make sure to proof read your work each time.

By the way, your essay is only 2 paragraphs long. The requirement is 4 paragraphs long covering 3-5 sentences per paragraph. That is the reason why, even though you wrote 154 words, your analysis report is not coming across as complete, accurate, and informative. While 150 is the minimum word count, the only way to get the highest possible score, is if you write at least 175-200 words.

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