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IELTS 1 task, The graph below shows the share of elderly population by country


jason2000 1 / 1  
Nov 23, 2020   #1

the population aged 65 and more



A glance at the line chart provide highlights the demographic numbers of people whose aged 65 and over in three different countries from 1940 to 2040.

Overall, there was a significant growing trendancy among all three countries. Noticeable, the percentage number of the people in USA was the highest at the beginning and lowest in the end. In contrast, Japan owns the lowest percentages at first but is predicted to be the highest in the future.

To probe more deeply, there was a gradual increase in population in the USA from 1940 to 1980; however, the percentage of population decreased slightly between 1980 and 2020. It is anticipated to grow up to 24% at 2040, which is three time as 1940. There was a fluctation between 1960 and 2030 in Swedwn, but it is estimated to climb to about 25% at 2040. Since the beginning of 1940,The trend of population in japan was slowly gone down. Nevertheless, it has consistantly risen since 1987 and it is anticipated to reach a peak at 27% to 2040.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Nov 24, 2020   #2
Remember that words matter in writing your essays. You need to use theme appropriate words to show your LR and vocabulary range. For example, in this presentation, you said "A glance..." That phrase (a glance) does not indicate the proper instruction for this essay. A task 1 essay always offers and analysis of the image. So never simply "glance" or quickly look at the image. Use words that connote a study of the image instead. Something that will qualify the report as a run-down of important information, as studied by the writer. That will have more of an impact on your score.

The summary overview has a pretty much set in stone presentation requirement. You need to list the countries from the image and the measurement type before the trending statement. These help to highlight the discussion / analytical points that you will be presenting in the essay. These help you achieve a higher TA score as well due to the complete summary review of the information provided.

Remember to proofread before submitting your essay. Your lack of correction to spelling and grammar issues in the presentation will have a direct impact on your score in the LR and GRA sections. Points will be deducted for these errors. Always leave a pocket of time to review your work. You need to make sure to spot as many errors, and correct them if you want to aim for the best score you can get in this test.
OP jason2000 1 / 1  
Nov 24, 2020   #3
@Holt
Hello Holt, thanks for your suggestion, I wondering if you can point out my grammar mistakes.
thank you


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