Hi Bams..
These are my thoughts about your writing task 1. Meet my notes and review them.Overall, consumption fluctuated. In 2010 there are increases consumtion fish and meat while consumtion salt dramatically decrease.
Mr. Bams, I suggest you add one sentence in the overview. Each good paragraph has more than 2 sentences so that you can strive to create two sentences for the overview. This is my alternative overview.
OVERALL, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT FISH HAD BEEN ALWAYS THE MOST POPULAR, CONSUMED BY CITIZENS IN CHINA. MOREOVER, WHILE THE PERCENTAGE OF SALT HAD FALLEN MARKEDLY, OTHER FIGURES HAD WITNESSED A REVERSE TREND.On condition that you wanna get the score more than 6, you have to make comparisons amongst figure. One of essential elements to achieve the high score is answering the prompt about the comparison of the figures.I have counted words in this. In fact, its number is on 150 words. Be careful because it is at edge of the number of words. I suggest you strive to write the writing task 1 170-185 words. It will seem that you limit ideas. I believe you can develop that in the next term.There were
intresting INTERESTING phenomena showed by THE chart, In 2010 THE fish consumption dramatically increaseD
approxiamtely BY APPROXIMATELY 250
850 from 600 in 1995, while THE salt consumption decreaseD in 2010 around 200 and meat consumption
improve GREW TO 200 in 2010.
Salt consumption constant declined year
s -by-year
s from 480 in 1985 to 200 in 2010, it
was showed THAT china's citizens ...
Meat consumption double
improves ESCALATED from 100 (...) it was desc
r ibed people in china ...
Pay attention to misspelling..
GOOD LUCK