Topic: Some people believe that students should study at schools are better than studying in groups. However, others argue that students study at schools are better than they study on their owns. Discuss both views and give your opinion? (300-350 words)
I'm still uncertain with the task response of this type of essay. I wonder if my essay below is done appropriately or are there any problems i still have? Please help me by explaining it clearly. Thanks a lot!
THE ADVANTAGE OF GROUP STUDY AND SELF-STUDY
There are two schools of thought when it comes to campus study methods: group study or self-study. Some people hold the opinion that group study is more beneficial for students than self-study, while others have inverse thought. Personally, I believe that each has its own advantage in particular situations. In this essay, I would like to discuss these two public points of view and account for my specific opinion.
On one hand, some people promote the idea that solo-learning allows students to study in an environment that is perfect for them, therefore, help them study more efficiently. They demonstrate that this method minimizes the distraction that can keep students from memorizing knowledge and create favorable conditions to pay complete attention to the study materials. They also argue that study alone means that students can study at their own preference. Every student has his own learning priorities, different strategies and suitable speed in acquiring knowledge. This method allows students not to be dependent on other partners and learn in the way that works best for them.
On the other hand, one group of people supports the opinion that group study helps students cover a larger amount of knowledge and learn at deeper levels. They explain that when students study together, they can learn new perspectives on topics discussed, broaden their understanding, evaluate the accuracy of their view points and correct any mistakes they might have. Moreover, verbalizing concepts and explaining materials to other team mates help to reinforce ideas and enhance their comprehension.
Although two study methods are really beneficial, I believe no method is superior to the other, instead, each is useful in specific disciplines. Self-study is more efficient to be applied to the tricky academic field of study, such as Math, Physics and Chemistry because these subject required complicated brainstorming and a large amount of time and effort spent on exercises practicing to master. Meanwhile, social subjects like Literature, History, and English whose knowledge foundation built up from social activities is most suitable with the group-study method.
In conclusion, each method has its own perks and I believe students can optimize these if they apply these methods in appropriate ways.
How about something like PERSONAL STUDY AND GROUP STUDY WHICH IS BETTER?
It's pretty much a good essay.
Hi, I hope this helps a little.
I think: "There are two opinions when it comes to campus student studying method, studying alone or studying as a group." is smoother.
This method allows students not to be dependent on other partners and learn in the way that works best for them --->This method allows students to be independent and study in a way that works best for them.
evaluate the accuracy of their viewpoints and correct any...
verbalizing concepts and explaining materials to other teammates help to reinforce ideas and enhance their comprehension.
Although two study methods are really beneficial, I believe no method is superior to the other ---> Although both methods are beneficial, I believe neither one is superior.
You can try to read the essay as a whole and try to make it easier to understand.
Thanks a lot for your help! But my confusion is still there, as i wonder whether my task response is appropriate or not. Can contributors help me?
Dam, I cannot figure out what the prompt is trying to say because what you presented is not the original prompt but rather, your interpretation of the original requirements. You are expected to post the original prompt, in a cut and paste method, so as to avoid confusion regarding the content. The original one was in coherent English, which would have allowed me to properly assess your work. Your interpretation is a horrible attempt which excluded certain relevant information regarding the discussion in your interpretation. Until you post the original prompt, I will be unable to determine if you properly responded to the task requirements, based on the provided statement information, or not. You must also indicate if this is a practice essay for an English exam (and what kind) or if this is just for an English writing exercise and nothing more.
You have a tendency to blur the discussions because of multiple topic presentations per paragraph. Your grammar is imperfect because it does not offer clear ideas regarding discussion points. Limit yourself to one topic per paragraph. Completely explain your topic per paragraph. Avoid using filler phrases such as "on the one hand" and use topic sentences at the start of the paragraph instead. That way you begin explaining yourself instead of merely trying to fill a word requirement. Next, avoid run on sentences. Don't separate unrelated ideas using commas because that causes more confusion and makes it difficult for the reader to follow a proper flow of thought coming from the writer.
The other important aspects of this essay cannot be reviewed due to the confusing prompt you have provided. This sounds like an IELTS Task 2 essay so it should be no longer than 250-300 words, not 300-350 words.
To be honest, this is a writing assignment in my English class at school. I copied exactly the original prompt.
If i can, i would like to turn the prompt into:
Some people think that it is more effective for student to study in groups, while other believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
I search for some specific ielts writing prompts on the internet. This is one i found most suitable. What do you think?
Actually, i'm just confused with the requirement: Discuss both views and give your opinion?, especially the part give your opinion. Should i spend a whole paragraph to present my opinion as i did with my essay above or i can merge it into the conclusion paragraph or the two body ones? And if i can merge, how can i do this, can you give me your example?
When presented with a the above instruction for the discussion, you must present each point of view as an individual paragraph. Your personal opinion, counts as an individual paragraph as well. The reason why each part has to be presented separately has to do with the way that you will be explaining and supporting your reasons. You cannot discuss all of the reasons in a single paragraph because you will not be able to present ample supporting references for it. In order to allow you more space to clearly explain yourself, you need to approach each paragraph topic individually.
A personal point of view is not presented as a conclusion because a conclusion does not allow you to present an opinion on a matter. It merely used as a tool by which you close the discussion. Since your personal opinion is still part of the reasoning discussion, you cannot use it as a conclusion for the essay. Not in an academic essay, which this topic counts as and which writing style you are being taught in this class. So your presentation is correct.
Remember, each paragraph needs a topic sentence, just one, for each reason. Each point of view is given one paragraph for a strong presentation. A personal opinion is presented as a separate paragraph, never as part of a conclusion. These are the standard English essay writing rules, for beginners that is. It gets more complicated to write as you progress with your writing skills. Right now, just focus on the simple presentation as I indicated above.