Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

A growing tendency these days to work independently instead of applying for corporations jobs

Ptp03 4 / 6  
Jul 14, 2020   #1


Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Write at least 250 words.
Recent changes in the nature of work itself have accompanied significant adjustments that are made by a number of people to their working life. Indeed, there has been a growing tendency these days to work independently instead of applying for corporations. The following piece of writing is going to present an in-depth analysis into this phenomenon, along with potential drawbacks of self-employment.

In the first place, being self-employed affords people more flexibility and latitude. Unlike companies or organizations, where employees are expected to adhere to the general disciplines, and are subject to penalties for any infringements, home-workers are not bound by rigid schedules or rules. By this way, they can start their working day at any given hours, or refresh themselves whenever they feel stressed or uninspired. Additionally, as they hold the absolute control over their workload, they are capable of shouldering multiple tasks at once, which considerably increases the incomes. Home freelancers are a perfect illustration of this point, when a multitude of them can earn a stable livelihood by flexibly assuming various positions like translators, designers, photographers, to name but a few.

Nevertheless, despite prominent upsides, a self-employed person is likely to confront certain challenges that can hinder their progress and productivity. A lack of discipline may emerge as the first hurdle that they need to overcome. Without awareness and order, they run the risk of inertia, which can result in disruptions in production and a fall in the quality of the products. Stress and negative thinking are another possible drawback of working independently when the workload becomes overwhelming or customers' feedbacks express frustration and discontentment. Last but not least, due to the volatile nature of job market, there is a substantial likelihood that many independent workers will suffer from unemployment, which can lead to financial difficulties.

In conclusion, more freedom, flexibility and opportunities to chase ambitions are three plus points that attract a rising proportion of people to self-employment. In the meantime, it is imperative that they should acknowledge ever-present obstacles of this type of profession.

This is the second essay that I have written here on this website. I would be grateful if you can give me a score.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,021 4243  
Jul 15, 2020   #2
You should have directly responded to the 2 questions in the prompt paraphrase. You were being asked to clearly outline your discussion points by responding to the questions directly. You should have done that to show that you understood the instructions and that you had valid responses for each question. Your discussion paragraphs contain way too many word fillers at the start. Avoid using empty words that just try to impress the examiner with your vocabulary. He will be more impressed with the vocabulary that you use to clearly state your topic sentence and highlight your explanations within the paragraph. The presentation has several under developed discussion topics per paragraph as you only present the topic, but do not bother to actually expand on the explanations. You have to learn to focus on developing 2 related reasons per paragraph if you want to fully utilize the 5 sentence maximum count. Your reasoning is not effective because you only present discussion topics, without related explanation and reasoning development.

I do not believe that this essay will be worthy of a passing score. You are focused on length instead of coherence and clarity of paragraphs. That is why your essay failed. That is why you cannot get a passing score. The majority of your problems are in the clarity and coherence bracket. Like I said, you sacrificed those 2 scoring considerations for word count. I will not give this essay a score because it will be useless to do so.

Home / Writing Feedback / A growing tendency these days to work independently instead of applying for corporations jobs