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With the growing world population, there's the problem of feeding such a large number of people

GATE 6 / 17  
May 17, 2020   #1

Genetically modified foods question

with the growing world population,one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such a large number of people. some people think that Genetically modified foods offer a viable solution to this problem. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nobody can deny that world's population is continuously growing and at the same time sources of food are diminishing at a speedy pace. This issue has resulted in the development of genetically modified foods, and even though this solution is not approved by everyone, I strongly believe that it is vital to cover the people's food needs.

To begin with, with the advent of genetic engineering, there are many improvements in modified foods. Products such as milk, tomatoes or any type of fruit can be modified and made to last longer that it usually does. This is a major benefit as it can cover the needs of people for longer duration because of their great resistance. Furthermore, overpopulation can cause the disappearance of some farmlands which are playing a crucial role for the production of agricultural products. Genetics can improve the fitness of both plants and animals, by modifying their genes, which would results in the improvement of crops and fertility respectively. By this, producers can generate bigger amount of food with the same number of plants or animals.

On the other side, few would dispute that genetically modified foods can cause many health problems such as cancer or food allergies. Additionally, genetics is a new field of biology so humankind can not be sure for of the results. In other words, there is not enough evidence that modified foods will cover the increased feeding needs effectively or whether it will cause a general risk for everyone.

To sum up, even though genetically modified food has its own risk, I firmly believe that it's a great solution for the phenomenon pressing issue of overpopulation in modern societies, while genetical innovation rise.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,568 2485  
May 17, 2020   #2
It would be best to not make hyperbolic claims in your discussion. An example of a hyperbolic claim is, "Nobody can deny that..." Anybody can deny the claim made in the original discussion. That is why the question for the discussion is, "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" That clearly means that anybody discussing the prompt properly, would know that they may disagree with the given topic and in the process, deny that the topic is incorrect or does not exist. Your response to the question still does not properly reflect a response to the question. It is not about your belief, it is about the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the topic. Hence:

I strongly support this idea due to several personal beliefs.

Would have been the better response.

Your first reasoning paragraph is under developed. The statement was going fine when you were discussing the first topic. The problem is that you added 2 more topics to a paragraph that needs only 5 sentences to prove the clarity and coherence of the discussion. The last 2 discussion point were not well explained and did not effectively connect with the first topic. Stick to one topic per paragraph. In situations where "reasons" are required, just make sure the 2 reasons actually have a commonality so that the C&C requirement will be met.

The second paragraph turned the direct response / opinion essay into a comparative discussion. The question was "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" You already indicated a strong agreement with the statement in the paraphrase. That agreement should be proven in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. The overall essay loses cohesiveness when you change the discussion to a C/C essay. Unless the essay asks you to "Compare / Discuss both points of view", you do not use that format. Majority of the essays as single opinion defense topics. Do not change the discussion style, you will lose major TA and C&C points when you do that.

Cohesiveness comes from the way you discuss related topics in the essay. Cohesiveness is provided by the way you focus on the single discussion instruction or question. Cohesiveness helps you pass the test. Coherence comes from the way you fully develop the explanations by the use of one or two related fully developed reasons in your reasoning paragraph presentation. All the reasons and discussions need to relate to the original discussion instruction in order to meet the discussion requirements.

You did not properly present a reverse paraphrase as the conclusion. You just a single run-on sentence. You have to divide that within 3-5 sentences. Just present:

- The topic
- Your opinion
- Reasons you provided
- Closing sentence

Apply the corrections to your next essay that carries the same discussion requirement. I am sure you will see the difference in your work.
OP GATE 6 / 17  
May 19, 2020   #3
thanks for the feedback holt. i have one more query. in the questions "to what extent.." or "do you agree or disagree" , can we partially agree with the statement thus providing both the sides of argument and then balancing it out in conclusion?

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