IELTS; Guns should be better controlled or even banned

Whether normal citizens can arm guns or not has been a frequent topic of discussion for a long period. Recent US gun shot which killed innocent children and responsible staff brought endless sorrow to the community and arouse the public's rethinking towards gun control.

Advocates, who maintain gun ownership is a civil right , hold on the belief that firearms play an essential role in self-defense. Specifically, as gun control laws and policy vary greatly around the word, some people from countries where rights to keep and bear arms are guaranteed by national constitution treat gun possession as individual liberties. Besides, researches have also shown that victims armed with a weapon are less likely to be murdered or robbed than those who don't have one when crime occurs.

Nevertheless, opponents suggest that the government enact strict laws to forbid guns. Assault weapons easily accessible to the public , to some extent ,increase the rate of suicide and domestic violence . Generally speaking, suicide candidates have greater chances to kill themselves successfully with a gun at hand than others using alternative methods. Moreover, devastating harm caused by gunshot supports the notion that a federal ban on assault weapons should take effect. A weapon is so powerful that a criminal can shoot so many people in such short time. What's even worse, it seems to be more difficult to resist and overtake a criminal with a gun. Therefore, compared with other violence, serial gunshot normally lead to higher death toll . Overall, the availability of purchasing , trading and bearing guns puts the whole societal members under threat and disrupt the stability of the nation as a whole.

To sum up, despite of the purpose of self protection, I personally stick to the latter opinion that guns are better controlled or even banned in public. Whereas in those countries where gun possession is historically legal, harsher measures should be taken to scrutinize the nation's gun laws, mental health system and the role that violent video games and movies might play in shootings.

good essay with a wide range of vocabulary

Nevertheless, opponents suggest that the government enact strict laws to forbid guns.
==>>Nevertheless, opponents suggest that the government should enact strict lawsin order to forbid guns.

To sum up, despite of the purpose of self protection, I personally stick to the latter opinion that guns are better controlled or even banned in public.

==>>To sum up, while we may need guns on the purpose of self protection I personally stick to the latter opinion that guns are better controlled or even banned in public.

.... there are no commas. My suggestion;
Those who advocate that gun ownership is a civil right, hold the opinion that firearms paly an essential role in self-defence


.... generally rights are protected; ....right to keep weapons in possession is protected by the national constitution


crime is committed.


....with a gun in hand
You have written a good essay; great ideas and good vocabulary! :)

You have said "brought" at the beginning of the sentence and therefore everything should be in the past tense.

Your essay is well constructed and the examples you have used are very good.Your ideas are brilliant and I like the way you write. Well done. :)

thanks a lot for your suggestions!!~~

i am new here,so i dont know how to reply you one by one.
i have several questions here.
is harm countable or not,should i say devastating harm or harms?
is it unacceptable to use two tenses in one sentence?
by the way, hungvud, i like the expression: huanted threat, it is very vivid.

Great essay in general. Grammarwise, the other comments already say what I'm thinking.