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TOEFL writing: Handmade objects are more beneficial than machine made ones


ksr10 1 / 1  
May 19, 2014   #1
Nowadays, with the advent of technology, machines are enabled to produce high quality items precisely but still people have different attitude when it comes to comparing handmade or machine made objects. There is no denying that machines are essential for producing many objects that we use every day but generally I would apt for the handmade items. It is my considered opinion that handmade goods are more valuable due to their uniqueness; moreover, production of handmade objects can be lead to reduction of criminal activities because it provides a lot of job opportunities for the society.

The first aspect to ponder upon is the fact that handmade objects are far more precious rather than machine made ones. When we use handmade goods which probably many dexterous individuals spend an enormous amount of time to prepare them for our utilization, it feels real and makes our life more exceptional. Besides, handmade products are made by people who have creation and this helps them to create something different each time, while machines lack creativity so their products always looks the same. For example, handmade Persian carpets are famous for their uniqueness, and hardly ever do we see two similar handmade Persian carpet.

Another subtle point to be examined is that producing objects by means of individuals, creates a lot of job opportunities and diminishes crime rate in the society. If we use machines to produce every item, many people could lose their job and it goes without saying that unemployment is the chief reason for many crime actions. One example that clearly illustrates this fact is what societies experienced at the beginning years of industrialization in which people who worked in the factories lost their jobs; consequently, crimes rate arose abruptly and it led to a vast calamity in the societies for many years.

In light of the above-mentioned reasons one can clearly conclude that handmade objects are more beneficial than machine made ones. In my view should the government wish to get the most out of production of materials, it had better pay a significant attention to handmade items production.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
May 19, 2014   #2
It's good if you included the prompt in your post so that we get a clear idea as to what it expects from you. Your topic alone is not enough for that purpose. I assume this is Agree/Disagree type of essay.

Overall, I think this essay is very well written. You have excellent grammar and impressive vocabulary. Have you managed time and finished this in 30 mins?
OP ksr10 1 / 1  
May 19, 2014   #3
oh really ?! :D thank you very much !!
actually it took me about 45 minutes ! and I thing timing is one of my major problems ! I can't come up with the good reasons at the beginning.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 20, 2014   #4
You can post your prompt now in the same thread and it would be really useful for us to provide you with more meaningful feedbacks as Pahan has mentioned.

Overall, I think this essay is very well written. You have excellent grammar and impressive vocabulary. Have you managed time and finished this in 30 mins?

Yes, you follow the right approach, good grammar and vocabulary too :)
However, you need to do more practice with time and bring your time down to 30 mins to be on safe side. Follow this approach (you are almost there) , it helps you manage time effectively.


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