Guys :) Can you help me this time :) Please rate and review (if possible) :) Thanks a lot :D
Topic: Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
humans have always aspired to happiness
Since the dawn of history, humans have aspired to happiness. Despite being regarded as one of the most indispensable parts in our life, happiness poses a challenge for everyone to define it's actual meaning. This essay will discuss the reasons happiness is such an abstract concept as well as make a case for important factors contributed to happiness.
One very good explanation for the fact that it is difficult to analyse 'happiness' is its dependence on several factors that exist both subjectively and objectively. In terms of the external elements, family backgrounds such as social status or financial matters have an enormous impact on our decision. Simultaneously, personal aspiration as well as individual concept based on education or culture, regarded as inner factors, also determine each person's perspective on happiness. For example, a disabled who lost his legs find it delightfull if he is enabled to walk or move around like the ordinary, while a mailman defines happiness as a day off, sinking in his sofa and not having to take a step elsewhere. So long as people have different outlook on life, happiness is yet to be answered.
When talking about happiness, there is an array of deciding factors that create a joyful life, one of which is family. A close-knit family without any sibbling or parent rivalries that offers a safe and comfortable backdrop after our thick and thin is most likely to provide the real sense of well-being, security and relaxation, known as happiness. For instance, a survey conducted two years ago by BBC news demonstrated that the 'happiness rate' in India was the lowest on the ground that most families were not cozy and peaceful; the adults were busily working while youngster were under no supervision which lead to social vices commitment.
Another factor that should be taken into full consideration is careers, since a career decides how useful you are to the society hence how you are perceived by other people, which either brighten your day or not. It is believed that a successful career guarantees high social status, accompanied by public respect, and acceptable earnings. Hardly do people feel mistressed or dissatisfied if they are provided with credibility and a sustainable living standard, all of which brought about by an accomplished vocation.
To summarize, happiness will always remain questionable about its real meaning because the environmental and personal influences are various. Yet, knowing that a congenial family and a thriving profession build up happiness, it will be easier for many people to acquire this important part of their life.
Can you suggest other words for: factors, happiness, define?? I'm a bit stuck here :)
You always wrote an excellent essay and I really like this one. I do not say your pattern is wrong.You have two paragraphs which are telling about the factors of happiness, but you only have a paragraph for a definition of happiness. So, I'm worry the assessor will judge your content is not balance. Perhaps you should write the factor of happiness in a paragraph which adopt multiple idea.
This is a brainstorming of the multiple idea.
Idea : There are two factors of happiness
Reason 1 : Family is the first factor of happiness
Exp : Based on BBC News, in India has the lowest rate of happiness.
Reason 2 : a successful career
Exp : lead a sustainable living standard
Conclusion : The happiness is mirrored by a warm family and a successful career.
it'sits actual meaning
the reasons why happiness is such an abstract concept
contributedcontributing to happiness
enabled able to walk
When talking about happiness
When it comes to happiness
Your vocabulary and grammar are very good. However, using too many big words and lengthy sentences can make readers feel tired of your writing. Using simpler and shorter sentences may be a better way to clarify ideas and capture readers' attention.
I hope this helps!
You wrote a very good essay.
if you are more careful of using singular and plural nouns & verbs it will be a plus.
were (was) under no supervision which lead (leads) to social vices commitment.
Also, I think some sentences are too long to follow.
I hope this helps :)
this is beautifully written. you have mentioned some important elements of happiness like living with a happy family or working at an esteem position. but as it is already said and very well known to us that happiness cannot be defined, it can only be felt. :)