Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


"Happiness is the same as crystal, the more sparkling it is, the more easily it breaks"


khoctham 6 / 12  
Oct 1, 2009   #1
pl check for me more detail as possible.thanks in advance
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?

There is a speaking: "Happiness is the same as crystal, the more sparkling it is, the more easily it breaks". Happiness plays an important part in our lives and actually it's an abstract concept. In my writing I will give some reasons why it's difficult to define what happiness is as well as some crucial factors in achieving happiness.

Why is it so difficult to define happiness? It's because to different people, happiness means different things. Sometimes, happiness is as simple as a child picks up a coin on his way to school or finds a toy that he has lost for a long time. When a teenager passes the entrance exam to university, it's also called happiness. A little bit older, happiness is when we find our real love and get married. To old people, they are happy when their offspring look after and take care of them. For all these reasons, it's hard to give happiness an exact definition.

There are some important factors in attaining happiness. In my opinion, they are health, money and love. There is an idiom that "Having health is having all". Imagine that a boy dreams of being a footballer but he has problem with his leg, how can he play soccer? Or a man wants to become a pilot but he fails only because he doesn't pass the eye's test. Therefore, if we don't have health, we can not do anything properly. On the other hand, money also helps to fulfill happiness. We use money to buy things we like, to pay for our interests or hobbies or to entertain... All these things help to improve our living conditions and that's why we are happy. The last factor may be love. Love doesn't only mean the love between a man and a woman. It's also the love for family, for friends and for all things around us. Without love, we're alone. How can we achieve happiness if we are alone? Therefore, love is considered to be a crucial thing in accomplishing happiness.

In a word, happiness can not be defined by anyone; it's something that is theoretical that we can only feel. There are many things in achieving happiness such as health, money and love; however, different people hold different opinions depending on their personal experiences, personality type and emotional concern.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Oct 1, 2009   #2
Happiness plays an important part in our lives and actually it's an abstract concept.

That's debatable. Some psychologists would say that happiness is a quite tangible collection of neurological and physiological happenings. So, I'd suggest you phrase the second half of the sentence (which ought to be in its own sentence) less dogmatically.

Grammar:

Sometimes, happiness is as simple as a child picking up a coin on his way to school or finding a toy that he has lost for a long time.

When we are a little bit older, happiness is when we find our real love and get married.

Except, of course, for those of us who are banned from marrying our true loves!

it's something that is theoretical that we can only feel.

If it's merely theoretical, how could we feel it?


Home / Writing Feedback / "Happiness is the same as crystal, the more sparkling it is, the more easily it breaks"
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳