Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


Hard choice - neither between life and death nor between love and freedom, but between truth and lie


linying 5 / 14  
Jan 14, 2011   #1
Dear guys,I'm going to attend to a SAT exam soon and I really hope that you can help me with my SAT essay writing.Here is my practicing essay.Please give me some advice.By the way, I always don't know how to write a good ending. Can you guys give me a example? Appreciate a lot....

Assignment: What two options are the most difficult to choose between?

The most difficult choice is neither between life and death nor between love and freedom, but between truth and lie. Although I have to admit that it really takes a lot of courage to decide to die when one still have chance to live and it is harder to give up one's beloved to pursue the mental world of freedom, it is the choice of insisting on the truth that takes the greatest bravery.

Louis Pasteur is such an example who bravely challenged the majority's opinion in order to hold the truth. Before him, people commonly believed that life comes directly from the lifeless matter. This theory is called spontaneous theory which was synthesized by Aristotle, the unshakable authority at that time. Hence, people from common ones to experts all deeply believed in this theory. However, Pasteur threw doubt on this commonly believed theory after conducting a series of experiments. Seeing is believing. What was shown in the experiments definitely disproved Aristotle's old theory. Here came the choice. He could publish the result of his discovery to insist on the truth or support the old wrong theory to lie to his heart. If he chose the first one, there would be lots of critics waiting for him. No one will exactly know what those crazy people will do who championed the spontaneous theory for so many years. His friends even warned him about the quagmire lain on the endless truth chasing path. On the contrast, if he chose the latter one, he will suffer from the torture of consciousness instead of the one from others. Finally, he decided to choose the first choice. Pasteur publicized his discovery in 1864 and brought a controversy immediately. Countless people found fault with Pasteur's experiments but soon people gradually were persuaded by the fact of the experiments. Because of this choice, Pasteur became one of the founders of the microbiology.

Unlike to choose death or freedom, people never know what they will get after holding the truth. Perhaps one can earn famous during his or her life time, like Louis Pasteur, or he or she can be punished to die without understanding from other people. For instance, Giordano Bruno donated his life to pursue the truth. While at his contemporary, he was considered as a heretic because his belief of Copernican model offended the authority of the Catholic Church. In the end he was burned at the stake by civil authorities in 1600. Still lucky, his idea was understood by several people and recorded in text form so that his descendants could recover his opinion and memorize him forever. And those people who had no supporters for their persistence or did not record their opinion would be forgotten by generations.

In conclusion, either pursuing truth or giving in to lie needs plenty of bravery to chose. However, we have to make decision between them.
moa110 2 / 4  
Jan 14, 2011   #2
Remember, your sat essay section is graded mostly on structure and ability to gather your thoughts in an organized way.

You did that very well. You had a good thesis and your examples were well done and explained.

Just try lengethening your conlclusion and strengthening it. Try summing up your essay. Restate your thesis about what you think about lies and truth, then sum up your examples "pasteur did such and such, and so and so happened. Bruno did...etc"along those lines and explain... did bad come upon those who lied? Vice versa?

And try to not to start with "in conclulsion" just start right away

Hope this helps,

Good luck!
OP linying 5 / 14  
Jan 15, 2011   #3
Hi,Mario,thank you so much for your advice! I will try to improve it.
whitney 21 / 38  
Jan 15, 2011   #4
Dear guys,I'm going to attend to a SAT exam soon and I really hope that you can help me with my SAT essay writing.Here is my practicing essay.Please give me some advice.By the way, I always don't know how to write a good ending. Can you guys give me a example? Appreciate a lot....

he will suffer from the torture of consciousness instead of the one from others. Perhaps one can earn famous during his or her life time, like Louis Pasteur, or he or she can be punished to die without understanding from other people.

Despite some errors, the essay is quite beautiful. I probably will try to recite it. My works are worse, and I think your comments will help me a lot. I hope that you can go to help with my essays, thank you.
OP linying 5 / 14  
Jan 19, 2011   #5
Hi Yang Na! thank you for your commendation and your advice. we can get improvment together.


Home / Writing Feedback / Hard choice - neither between life and death nor between love and freedom, but between truth and lie
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳