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The hard copy version of newspapers & magazines has been in great threat toward the printed version

James777 1 / 3  
Mar 9, 2019   #1
2019-02-28: Task 2
Questions: Some people believe in the era of e-technology, printing newspaper and magazines will cease to occur in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The printed version would be the Museum's collection soon

The hard copy version of newspapers and magazines has been in great threat owing to the evolving electronic technologies. This threat, believed by a section of the society, would bring an end to the printed version of these reading materials. From my point of view, I am an ardent advocate of this statement that e-technology or soft copy of news and information would engulf printed copy.

A good reason of paper copy dying out would be the flexibility of electronic copy. At present, not only do publishers of news and articles collect information from sources swiftly but they also update this information timely. This means, electronic technologies, such as smartphones, Internet, and internet of things, are being used in order to disseminate information from journalists to ultimate readers; and editors are updating the news, where needed, with efficiency. In contrast, Printed copies are not editable hence misinformation in news could not be corrected.

Another convincing reason for terminating printout of newspapers and magazines might be the user-friendly attribute of e-technologies. In other words, readers can access any news from any smart devices that have internet access. For instance, People, who are busy, can swipe their mobile phones for news or information from any places around the world without bothering the printed version of newspapers and magazines. What is more, readers can share any news with their friends and family via social network sites whereas this feature is unthinkable in the printed version.

To conclude, it is indubitable that printing newspapers and magazines would be discontinued in upcoming years on account of the adaptable and exclusive application of electronic technologies. The printed version would be the Museum's collection after a decade.

Date: 08.3.2019

Is this essay worth Band 7?
Any comments on this essay with appropriate feedback would be highly appreciated.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,808 2615  
Mar 10, 2019   #2
Jamshed, the first thing I have to tell you is that you are not writing an essay. Instead, you are showing off your knowledge of "dead" English language. You are trying to focus so much on the LR considerations in your essay that you let the coherence, cohesiveness, and GRA scoring sections fall by the wayside. While you are on point in terms of TA assessment values, your presentation is too wordy to the point of using words, just for the sake of using words (internet of things? Really? That doesn't even fit the discussion topic).

Focus on clearly explaining yourself, avoiding falling into the run-on presentation trap by using more current vocabulary. Big words that just complicate the understanding of your essay aside, you have an acceptable presentation. You just need to simplify your English terms by using more current and simple reference words to avoid stressing the examiner, which is a major GRA consideration.

Also, make sure that your concluding paragraph summarizes the discussion without offering additional opinions such as when you think print media will go out of style. That is not asked for in the prompt and should not be presented in the essay discussion once you write it. As of now, I do not think that this essay is worth a Band 7 score. It might be worth a 6 or 6.5 depending upon how the examiner views your writing.
OP James777 1 / 3  
Mar 10, 2019   #3
Dear Holt,first of all thank you very much for your sincere evaluation.

I would like to know what do you mean by ''dead english''? And ,are you suggesting to use more simple academic words ?

Thanks again for your valuable time and feedback.
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,808 2615  
Mar 10, 2019   #4
Dead English, or more familiarly known in academic circles as ancient English are English words that are no longer commonly used in the 21st century. Such language then becomes confusing to the reader or examiner who expects to read more up to date English words from the exam taker. Dead English is what the ESL learners commonly learn more of because their teachers believe that the LR score is best increased by using "big" or "over complicated" words to impress the reviewer. That is the wrong understanding of how to get a higher LR score. A higher LR score is achieved by showing that you know how to use current English words in a manner that is proper and relevant to the presentation. Dead English in your presentation include the terms indubitable and ardent. Everyday English words should take the place of ancient / dead English. It doesn't have to be academic or academic sounding words, just formally written everyday use or simple English words in understandable sentences.
OP James777 1 / 3  
Mar 10, 2019   #5
Dear Holt,

Thank you very much for your explanation. Now, I understand your point.

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