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Is the hard drive storage your only concern?


krauser 2 / 2  
Mar 28, 2011   #1
Ladies and gentlemen:

Please review my essay and make all corrections as you can. Any tips for writing improvement are welcome.

TOPIC:
Software Requirements
Is the hard drive storage your only concern?

Our personal computer is composed of several parts: CPU, motherboard, video card, memory, and hard drive. All these components are composed as a whole in order to function properly. As a fact, any component is replaceable except for one thing, the storage of the hard drive, which it has the operating system and our important information such as banking files, personal documents, and working papers. As far as my opinion, we are concerned the hard drive, because it stores irreplaceable information, it is vulnerable, and it can be used as backup.

In the first place, a failure in the hard drive could be a catastrophe, because all the important information is inside. In the worst case, if the hard drive stops working, the data will be lost. Furthermore, the recovery process could be painful, because the only solution is to send the hard drive to a data recover service center by paying hundreds of dollars.

In the second place, computer viruses resides in the hard drive. We could easily infect our software by surfing infected websites, installing software, and sharing data. For instance, if we catch a virus which infects the master boot sector, we will not be able to access the operative system. Besides, as the virus spreads and infects the system files of the hard drive, it can cause data corruption.

Lastly, we have to do the backup in order to be prepared for the click of death. The hard drive has its lifetime, and when it starts to make noisy clicking sounds, it means something is wrong with its heads or circuit board. At this point, instead of spending a whole day by reinstalling everything, we can restore our backed up data to the new hard drive. Moreover, the restore process is faster, our system will be normal in less than half hour.

In summary, the hard drive is where we keep our supplies. Without them, we are not able to do anything, and our work will be stuck or delayed. However, anybody who considers information as an importance, his or her main concern will be definitely the hard drive. The rest of them might have to experience the pain of information loss in order to change their minds.

Thanks for reading
butterbescotch 6 / 41  
Mar 29, 2011   #2
In the 1st and 2nd paragraph you point out that why is the hard drive important. But in the 3rd paragraph you are offer how to back up the hard drive. It is not united.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 30, 2011   #3
In this essay, I think I have a good idea to improve your straightforward, clear writing style:
Add a sentence at the beginning of the essay that gives your main idea, like this:

(Write a sentence that sums up the message of the whole essay). Our personal computer is composed of several parts: CPU, motherboard, video card, memory, and ...

In my opinion, we are concerned the hard drive, because it stores irreplaceable information, it is vulnerable, and it can be used as backup.----Nice job with this thesis statement.

One virus resides...
Several viruses reside...
In the second place, computer viruses reside in the hard drive.

Here, it's really make it a summary of the essay by connecting the two sentences together:
In summary, the hard drive is where we keep our supplies, because without them we are not able to do anything, and our work will be stuck or delayed. However, the main concern for anybody who considers information to be important will definitely be the hard drive.

I like that last sentence! I have experienced that pain. :-)


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