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Having Children Later in Life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development

TriceLiu 5 / 15 7  
Aug 7, 2018   #1
Prompt: Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life.
Why is this trend occurring?
What are the impacts of this development on both family and society?

ps: This is a topic about which I have read and thought for a long time. So I tried to write longer than an IELTS Task 2 essay. Please kindly loot it through. Any advice/ criticism/ revision will be appreciated :)

postponing childbearing for later and its effects

ANSWER: Nowadays increased number of couples choose to postpone childbearing to a later phase of their lives. This may result from longer education and high economic pressure. The trend could lead to more happy and harmonious families but may deteriorate demographic conditions in many countries.

Today young people receive more education, which inevitably decreases fertility rate. For example, more than ever young Chinese are studying in university and a growing share of them will pursue a master's degree. This means many of them would not find a paid job and have the economic groundwork for raising a child until their mid or late twenties.

Even after leaving campus, the youth may not be ready to become parents, due to the high cost of nurturing a child. Couples with a child need larger houses which would be unaffordable for young people who have just entered the workforce. Good education can be costly as well. The high fees of kindergarten and extra-curricular classes put heavy burdens on young parents. This is why a significant proportion of 25-to 35-year-olds refuse to have children until they have the resources needed for child-upbringing which could take ten or more years to accumulate.

Apart from their financial advantages, old couples are likely to be mature enough for parenthood. From years of higher education and high-pace work, they have learnt how to organize their time. These parents would be able to balance child-upbringing and other things, setting aside enough time to play with their children. Ensuring enough time of family communication could contribute to a happier childhood for the new-born and a more harmonious family.

For society, however, more people delaying childbirth may decrease birthrates, worsening the ageing of population. Females who give birth to her first child in their late thirties, may not be young enough to have another baby. This could cause a decline in fertility rates. A fallen number of babies means future economic development would be hindered by an insufficient workforce.

In conclusion, more time spent in education and the high cost of raising a child have led to more couples having babies late. This is beneficial for family as parents are more mature; but could pose threats to the economy of a country, by lowering birth rate.

thuhabk 2 / 5  
Aug 7, 2018   #2
After reviewing your essay, I think you have many good ideas for your essay. However, I also find out some mistakes and hope that my suggestion may help you:

1. Error of run-on sentence: This is why a significant ...
-> ... children until they have necessary resource enough to raise a child. Therefore, they could take ten or more years to do this.

2. Not the same of structure: ... ,worsening the ageing of population.

3. Unclear sentences:
A fallen number of babies means... -> A decrease in the number of births would hinder future economic development because of an insufficient workforce.

Nowadays increased number of ... -> Nowadays, the number of couples who wants to postpone childbearing to a later phase of their lives is increasing.
Jimmy879873 26 / 59 13  
Aug 7, 2018   #3
Hi Shurui, I think it is a great essay since you just want to write it out of your head. It is relatable and understandable. Though I have spotted a few mistakes from your piece of work so I want to point them out.

I noticed that you had presented several ideas in paragraphs but failed to address all of them in the conclusion. Therefore, I suggest you present only one main idea per paragraph, in this way, you can fully develop those ideas which makes the essay more clear to read, and for yourself, it is easier to restate the ideas in summary when the clock is ticking.

old couples are ...
middle-aged couples...

...high-pace fast-paced work,

they have learnt how to ...

... and other things,
If I were you, I would try to avoid any ambiguous words like this, as being specific is what the examiner looking for.
to balance child-upbringing and their work schedules...
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,610 1956  
Aug 8, 2018   #4
Shurui, this paper is almost perfect in presentation and that, is not a good thing. Why is this not a good thing? You mentioned that you read this question sometime ago online and you took the time to think about how to respond to it before writing it. If you do not read the question and then immediately write a response to it, then you are not giving yourself an actual exam setting set up for your practice essay. That is why the response is almost perfect, with very little mistakes. You did not write this under time pressure. Therefore, your response, though fantastic in presentation, cannot help you when you take the actual test.

The key to writing the perfect IELTS task essay is time management. How well do you respond to the question under time pressure? How well can you think in English and write in English when you are under time constraints such as in a university class exam setting? That is what this test is all about. So taking your time to analyze the essay and then developing a response after some time is not very helpful to you as an exam taker. All your essays must be written under time pressure or you are not preparing to take the exam in the correct manner.
OP TriceLiu 5 / 15 7  
Aug 8, 2018   #5
@Holt Thanks a lot for reminding me of the time constraint! I will soon study abroad so I am worried about writing longer English essays. I will definitely time myself in my next writing exercise :D

Thanks @thuhabk for replying :)
@Jimmy879873 Thank you Jimmy so much for the corrections. I'll put them into my revision of the essay.

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