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IELTS TASK 2 having a job prior entering to university has many benefits


ilankelo21 36 / 41 22  
Jan 27, 2016   #1
SOME SUGGEST THAT YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD TAKE A JOB FOR A FEW YEARS BETWEEN SCHOOL AND UNIVERSITY. DISCUSS WHAT ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES MIGHT BE FOR PEOPLE WHO DO THIS.

Some people say that having a job prior entering to university has many benefits like getting valuable experience regarding with working atmosphere and being more creative in solving problems. However, I am more likely to argue that its demerits are more crucial due to the fact that this will lead students less focus on his education and the payment during working is unsuitable with their expectation.

It cannot be denied that choosing to break and getting a job before continuing study in university has many benefits for teenagers. First, students will gain more priceless lesson which they will not obtain during studying in college. This valuable experience makes them more mature in facing any problem they have and tend to be wisely toward times and money expenditure. Besides, a creative thinking will be another value grasped by young people since they are used to think out of the box during in the working time.

With regard to positive impacts explained above, being an employee after graduating from senior high school has crucial drawbacks instead. The most remarkable one is the inclination for students to not focus on their academic affairs. This is because of what students get from workplace especially income, influence them to give their attention to study up. Aside from that, the salary they get from being employee is not satisfied since they have a low-education qualification.

To sum up, being a worker after graduating from high school basically has advantages like worth understanding, and capability to think innovatively. However, I tend to claim that its drawbacks have more crucial for youngsters such as less enthusiasm toward study and the low salary they receive.
bottles 3 / 16  
Jan 28, 2016   #2
just my ideas.

1). the first para seems to long.

2). You have stated cons and pros of working before entering to university. but it sounds like the negative opinion is also attractive and reasonable. So I think it's better to add more positive reason in 3rd para.
sholihin84 6 / 9  
Jan 28, 2016   #3
... demerits are more crucial due to the fact that this will lead students less ...---This can be subsitituted by It as common using.

Overall, the writing of your is good enough. But there is problem with the content and its rationalization--example and other facts.
Riiskacha03 31 / 34 5  
Jan 28, 2016   #4
This valuable experience makes them more mature in facing ...

well, I think it is important to clearly mention what kind ofvaluable experiencesyou mean in this sentences .

to sum up, being a worker after graduatinggraduate from high school ...
nuni11 33 / 30 5  
Jan 29, 2016   #5
...getting valuable experiences regarding with working atmosphere(...)the payment during working is unsuitable with theirof work is less than their expectation.

...choosing to break and getting a job(...)This valuableprecious experience makes(...)more mature in facing anytheir problem they have and tend to be wiselywiser (...)think out of the box during in the working time

Aside from that, the salary they get from being employeea worker is not satisfied since they have a low-education qualification.

I think you need more explanation about this, since you put it as the merits of notion.


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