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Healthy way of life promotion. Most of children are accustomed with unhealthy lifestyle.

ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 26, 2016   #1
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In modern era, most of children are accustomed to have unhealthy way of life. General people believe this is responsibility of schools and parents. I personally agree with this belief even though government also has a main role to overcome this trouble. Teachers should educate young people to be aware about healthy lifestyle while parents have to facilitate healthy lifestyle for their kids when they are at home. In addition, parliament should also make policy that will support teachers and parents' spirit to live healthily.

Young people aged 5-12-years-old receive teachers' advice better than their parents' guidance because most of them think that teachers are cleverer than their parents. Therefore, there will be some advantages for children if schools encourage them to keep healthy. For example, teacher can inform them a range of healthy food and some activities to keep fit.

However, children will exist in real life when they are not in schools. Hence, in this situation parents have to maintain their health. For instance, mothers can make a healthy lunch box for their kids, and provide daily healthy diet for their family. Another example is they can do regularly exercise in week end day together in order to develop healthy habit. In fact, other component of society, government, have important role to promote the healthy lifestyle. They can make regulations in order to encourage teachers and parents concern about their children's health condition.

In conclusion, both schools and parents have an essential role to maintain children's health because they are the closest figure for the young people. However, authority is vital as well since they have capacity to increase the healthy lifestyle of young people by standing for not only parents but also educators .
Angela Nang 4 / 10  
Aug 26, 2016   #2
Here are my some suggestions.
accustomed with unhealthy way of life.
parliament should also lay down policy for supporting
mothers can make/prepare a healthy lunch box
Another example is doing regularly exercise
Instead of "authority ", I prefer "advocating".
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 26, 2016   #3
Hi Eka, on promoting a healthy lifestyle, I personally think that as much as a parent can suggest what the kids or their children eat, they can only do so much because it's the children who will do the eating and all they can do is to watch them and make sure that they eat healthy and they grow safe in the neighborhood.

Further to your essay, I believe you have written a well managed essay, you made sure that the information are not only your own opinion but a good research that was done in order to create a well informed argument. Moreover, the essay also depicted the right intent or purpose of the essay.

For future reference, however, mind the construction of your sentences, make sure that you tick all the boxes in every sentence, such as the idea of the essay, the purpose and more importantly, the answer to the essay should flow properly and smoothly whilst streamlining the idea of the essay.

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