Your hook is somewhat vague :( Better you rephrase it !
Is it? Well, maybe because I'm trying to build a good hook. Could you give me an example for this sentence?
So children makes childhood redundant.
Thank you, I just realized it.
However, you follow the right structure for your introduction
.. Thanks God if it does, because making introduction is nightmare for me in this few days.. :)
Your contribution is my pleasure. Again, Thank you, Pahan :)