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Help me to improve my writing. EILTS 6_Nurse Migration


Fatirtalent 12 / 19  
Sep 22, 2016   #1
Nurse Migration

The nursing shortage has been a serious problem not only for certain countries but also in the entire world. Long-term solutions are required to overcome such condition. Especially, in emerging countries such as sub-Sahara Africa, South Asia, and Latin America. At least, there are two particular issues caused by the nursing shortage. Firstly, The worker's immigration. They vacated the job in their home country in favor of higher salaries and better quality of life in wealthier countries in Europe and North America. Secondly, limited nurse supply. It resulted in shrinking of the nurse-to-population ratio.

The nursing migration phenomenon has been appearing for last decades. However, it has been supplying both advantages and disadvantages for specific countries. The Philippines have been successful to affect its thousands of citizens overseas, increasing its remittance approximately $ 1 billion annually. In order side, drawback appeared that nursing positions at home are unfilled. Meanwhile, in African countries in which the HIV/AIDS epidemic is rampant, some sufferers were not appropriately treated because of unavailable drugs.

Note: hope this finds you well. and please kindly drop your comment below.

FirmanRomadhon20 9 / 15  
Sep 22, 2016   #2
Hello Nurse Migration, Ihave some suggestions for you :

Especially, in emerging countries are (it needs verb)such as sub-Sahara Africa,...

Firstly, The worker's immigration. I think this is not sentence because it is not included S+V+... form It is same with Secondly, limited nurse supply.

I hope It helps
ashelarisa48 36 / 52 4  
Sep 22, 2016   #3
The Nursing shortage has been a serious problem not only for certain countries but also in the entire world.

Long-term solutions are required to overcome such condition, especially in emerging countries such as sub-Sahara Africa, South Asia, and Latin America.

At least, there are two particular issues caused by causing the nursing shortage.

Firstly, There isthe worker's workers' immigration. (Your last writing is a phrase. You should add a main verb to make it being a sentence)

Secondly, limited nurse supply. The second is the limited number of nurses.

In order other side, drawback appeared that nursing positions at home are unfilled.

Meanwhile, in the African countries in which the HIV/AIDS epidemic is rampant, some sufferers were not appropriately treated because of unavailable drugs.

Hope this helps.


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