Topic: We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
support for poorer nations or not?
Some people claim that it is impossible to support all citizens who need assistance throughout the world. Therefore, people should only focus on giving a hand for their own societies and countries. As far as I am concerned, I totally disagree with this point of view. From my perspective, citizens have powerful abilities to offer assistance to others and it is essential to support foreigners for a variety of reasons.
Helping as many people who are in challenging situations as possible is necessary due to the humanity. As we all know, there are millions of people, not only in our own countries but also in other areas, have to suffer from the difficulties every hour. These people may face with the impoverishment or infectious diseases. It is undeniable that they are the one who need the others' help the most. If the rich or those who are able to support only try to help residents in their nations, the poor or the homeless from other communities who live under unbearable conditions may come into death. The contributions of foreigners can give them more opportunities to survive and overcome obstacles or at least mitigate their sufferings.
Another important reason for providing assistance for other areas' inhabitants is assistance has no limit. In other words, assistance and sharing from a person to another is extremely immense, even when it comes out of our own nations. Every individual is able to lend others a hand and help them more or less. For instance, there are many youngsters and adults in Africa have to encounter with contagious diseases, which are curable in many developed countries. If we cannot give them financial support, we can, as a result, become volunteers to come there and help them with vaccines or even just share our love with them. Our little donations can give people who from low economic-socio background a chance to live and address their problems more easily.
In conclusion, even though helping residents who are disadvantaged in our nations is crucial, people should not ignore to support the citizenry in other communities. I strongly believe that everyone is responsible for supporting others, based on the humanity.Hi Linh, I have read your essay closely. I think this is a good job. However, I have a few suggestion for finalizing your essay.
Actually, you have constructed your essay systematically.You successfully have paraphrased the question given. Besides, you have shown your position clearly and given the short description about what you explained in the body paragraph. For your flow, I suppose that is good because I have known points of your essay and understood easily. You only need to fix your second body paragraph. In the thesis statement, you said that you disagree with the opinion and display your reason, your second body did not relate to prompt. You are supposed to concentrate on your reason why you said that we should not focus on our community. There was a topic which tended to explain how to help other countries. I have not found your logical flow in the second body to support your view in this case. I believe you are able to build the paragraphs better, but you don't leave the edge of prompts. On the other hand, you have to pay attention to delivering words. Please, pick up proper word to describe what you mind. It can affect your score in the indicator of the lexical resource.
To fix your problem, make sure that you have found all keyword in the prompts, including the minor keywords.
