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need help with this essay - "the subjects with which you had difficulty"


kbros9193 3 / 6  
Jan 10, 2009   #1
okay so i have like three essays that are due tonight nd i just realized that one of them will have to be a subpar essay. i just need any feedback (grammar,spelling, did i answer the questions, anything helpful)

Prompt:Discuss the subjects with which you had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain?

History has always been the subject in which I have struggle the most. It was never interesting to me. "Why did I need to learn about events of the past when I lived in the present ? I could not relevance of learning history. Because I truly didn't find history the least bit enjoyable, I struggle through my classes. The lack of enthusiasm lead to many frustrated nights studying for my history exams.

My struggles in history continued until U.S History my junior year. Ms. Holland, my U.S History teacher, had a true enthusiasm and love for history. This enthusiasm rubbed of on my classmates and myself. She reminded us that history was connected. The events of today are dependent on the events of the past. She taught me how to make sense out of history by trying to understand the personal motives that went in to any chain of historical occurrences. As I learned about the history of North Carolina and the United States, I came to realize the important of our past. I realized that in order to truly understand who we are and how we came to be, we need to understand our past. As I became more interested in history, it became a story to me. To truly understand the page that I was on today, I had to first understand those pages that came before it. Dates, places and people were transformed into the thread that held this story together.

Ms. Holland, truly inspired me by teaching me history was connected and I was a part of it. This realization developed into an enthusiasm for a subject that I had disliked. What Ms. Holland taught me can be applied to many aspects of my life. Whenever I feel apathetic towards anything, I attempt to find where I am connected to it. In doing so I gain enthusiasm towards it. This lesson has been monumental to my educational success.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 10, 2009   #2
The essay isn't that bad. A few grammatical fixes:

"History has always been the subject in which I have struggled the most"

"I could not see the relevance of learning history"

"I struggled through my classes"

"This enthusiasm rubbed off on my classmates and myself"

"I came to realize the importance of our past."

"Ms. Holland truly inspired me by teaching me that history was connected and that I was a part of it"
OP kbros9193 3 / 6  
Jan 11, 2009   #3
thanks so do u think that i answered the question well
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 11, 2009   #4
Well, there are 5 parts to this prompt, so it is tough! They ask about: "difficulty," "factors," "dealt with them," "greatest improvement," problems areas that remain," Can you use these actual words in the essay? That will help, because some admissions people judge you based on how well you cover the prompt. You do pretty well, but try to be even more obvious about your attendance to the prompt.
OP kbros9193 3 / 6  
Jan 11, 2009   #5
thanks for the feed back


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