TOEFL TEST: People can solve important problems by themselves or with the help from their family members, so there is no need for the government to help them.
Today with the help from technologies, people can solve more problems than they used to. However, the government's policies still play an important role in our life, so I tend to think that people still need the government's help.
There are some problems that people cannot solve all by themselves. The power of individuals is weak, but they can be organized efficiently to obtain some huge ambitions through the arrangement of the government. For example, the air pollution problem is quite sever severe in China. Although people can make contributions to solve the problem through taking public transportation instead of driving their own cars, the main pollution source is the iron or coal factory, which normal people can do nothing about them. However, the government can put more stricter regulations to restrict factories to give off toxic pollutions pouring dusts into the air and punish or close the factories which violate the rules. Moreover, the authority can encourage the public to buy the products from the companies whose producing process is friendly to the environment. With people buying more products from the eco-friendly companies, the merchants will change their making processes. All these measures cannot be done by individuals.
This is also true when people face medical problems. When a person gets a severe disease like cancer, even though the whole family members will try everything to help him out, they often cannot afford such large amount of money. At this time people need government to help them and that's the reason for a national medical care system.
What's more, even people can solve some difficulties they meet in lives, they still need the government to make the things easier. For example, when the young people want to start their own companies, they often find it hard to find early investors to invest them some money. If they have to find investors all by themselves, they have to go to the invest companies one by one and receive receive hundreds of rejections, which will hurt their confidence. On the other hand, investors also find it hard to look up good programs to support. If the government can help to arrange an open meeting, both the entrepreneurs and the investors have a chance to get together to find the best match. It would save them a lot of energies.
In all, today people still have some problems that cannot solved by themselves or with the help of family members. As a result, we still need government to help people and make our life easier.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 HI Fanceen, listen, I love the essay that you wrote. However, I don't think you provided the complete prompt instructions for us to read so I am not sure if you are properly representing your response in line with the prompt expectations. I will just assume that you are meeting the prompt requirements and judge the essay from there.
As an examiner, I would rate this essay a 4 based on the writing rubic. The reason for that is that there is a clear understanding of the prompt represented in the essay introduction. You have managed to present acceptable reasons for your position. Most of which are displayed in a logical and understandable manner. Now, watch out for your redundancies or words that that you use which do not have a connection to the rest of the paragraph (e.g. sever severe). Although there is a generally clear representation of your discussion which makes the essay pleasant to read.
There is a slight problem with your conclusion as it was too short. You need a minimum of 3 sentences in every paragraph, be it an introduction, body, or concluding paragraph. Regardless of the essay prompt. So far, these are the problems that I can see which would bring down your score in the actual test.
@Holt Thank you very much. The full instruction is " Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can solve important problems by themselves or with the help from their family members, so there is no need for the government to help them." I wrote the essay in 30 minutes, so some ideas weren't fully developed. I will do better next time. Thank you again.
