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Help with Writing Task 2 - Essay on topic Study Abroad. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?



madhur1688 1 / -  
Mar 21, 2023   #1
QUESTION
More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries.

Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?



ANSWER
Increasing number of students are electing to pursue higher education overseas. While hefty educational fees are concerned drawbacks, the quality of education is the primary benefit that outweighs any disadvantages.

The cost for overseas studies is extremely high which is to be bared by the parents. They have to apply for education loan from financial institutions. It may lead to burden of debt repayment in addition to housing, car and insurance. It can be stressful for the guardians to hamper their mental health and well-being. To illustrate, data published by SBI bank in India, the major portion of loan issued is for purpose of education. It adds a financial burden on the country's economy with uncertainty on the repayment. Authorities should take assurance of the loan settlement before it is disbursed.

Referring to the primary benefit of studying in foreign countries is the highest quality of education. It is observed that tertiary education overseas is inclined towards practical exposure if compared to domestic study methods. To prepare students for future managers, the practical knowledge imparted is rather than rote learning. It makes the student competent and job-ready once they hold a degree. To cite an example, Mr. Piyush Bansal is an alumnus of McGill University, Canada. Today he is successful entrepreneur owning a multi-million-dollar company name Lenskart.

To conclude, although pathway to study abroad might get obstructed because of financial reasons. The undisputed benefit of high level of education for future progress surpasses any hindrance. After studying abroad, the student gets ample of opportunities to shape their career they have ever dream.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15411  
Mar 22, 2023   #2
Note that the question provided as a discussion guide is in plural form for both the benefits and drawbacks. Therefore, there should be 2 of each presented in the discussion. This reponse only discusses one of each because of the incorrect discussion format. Where a plural form for reasoning is concerned, the discussion format should be as follows, over 2 reasoning paragraphs:

Sentence 1: Represent a drawback
Sentence 2: Explain the drawback
Sentence 3: Oppose with a benefit reason based on the drawback topic
Sentence 4: Expand on the benefit explanation
Sentence 5: Offer an example of the benefit

By using the comparative discussion, you will better meet the need for 2 discussion points in a cohesive manner. It will create a connected and seamless discussion per paragraph for the 2 reasons indicated. Your current essay does not present the proper discussion format as expected by the examiner.
htruc2005 1 / 2  
Mar 24, 2023   #3
You used some fancy words here but make sure to check their meanings, whether they make your essay sound natural enough
The opening sentence should be "An increasing number of...are", if you use "The ...number" it should be followed by "is". I think you just forgot

It's ok to repeat sometimes but once this gets the reader's attention, it will lower your score. In this essay I've noticed that you used the structure "To + V,..." more than 3 times


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