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Mr. Heng taught me the value of HARDWORKING; My favorite TEACHER


pohui88 1 / 2  
Apr 9, 2013   #1
Hi, I'm new here.I' always have mistake with my essay and get the lowest mark in school,i hope with you all guide i could improve my English and grammar more.

Here is my first essay---------------Describing my favourite teacher

Mr. Heng is forty-two,but he does not look a day over thirty,he is muscular and well-built. He is tall ,I am just half of his size.He has a tanned complexion and he is always crew-cut. Mr Heng is the guy who influence me a lot, he taught me to hardworking since I first met him at the tuition center, as if he knew that I am a lazy person.He teaches science and that is the reason why I had always scored high marks in my science.

Mr Heng live just down stair of my apartment,so when i get screw up with my study I would drop by his house and ask for help. He is indeed a good teacher, he always welcome me to visit him and ask anything about study.Mr. Heng is also my best friend for me, he is willing to share his experience to me.Whenever I got into trouble with my parents, I would turn to his advice.He would listen without condemning me but at the same time, he help me see my parents' point of view.

Mr.Heng has been a great influence in my life and I am very fortunate to have such a great teacher.

abhigeorge 6 / 20 2  
Apr 9, 2013   #2
and he is always crew-cut

and he always sports a crew-cut

Mr Heng is the guy who influence me a lot

Mr Heng is a person who has influenced me a lot

he taught me to hardworking

he taught me to work hard

I had always scored high marks in my science

i have always scored high marks in science

Mr Heng live just down stair of my apartmen

Mr Heng lives just downstairs

he is willing to share his experience to me

he is willing to share his experiences with me.

Whenever I got into trouble with my parents

Whenever I get into trouble...

I would turn to his advice

I would turn to him for his advice.

he help me see my parents' point of view

he helps me to see my parents' point of view.
OP pohui88 1 / 2  
Apr 9, 2013   #3
Thank you
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 13, 2013   #4
Mr. Heng is forty-two,but he does not look a day over thirty. Hehe is muscular and well-built.

Mr Heng is theguyperson who influences me a lot, he taught me to hardworking since I first met him at the tuition center, as if he knew that I am a lazy person.He teaches science and that is the reason why I had always scored high marks in my science.

... this line is too long... that disturbs your flow. Also "guy" sounds a bit informal and since you talk about your teacher, it's good to use a more respectful tone.

Mr Heng is the person who influences me the most. He taught me the value of hardworking from the day one of our meeting at the tuition center. He was able to transform my lazy personality to a more dynamic and hardworking one. His influence helped me earn good scores in Science, the subject that he teaches me.
OP pohui88 1 / 2  
Apr 13, 2013   #5
Should this essay better? I try to work on all suggest you give me...
Mr. Heng is forty-two,but he does not look a day over thirty, he is muscular and well-built. He is tall ,I am just half of his size.He has a tanned complexion. He always sport a crew-cut,as if it has a special meaning for him. Mr Heng is the person who influences me the most. He taught me the value of hardworking from the day one of our meeting on the tuition center. He was able to transform my personality from a lazy one to a more dynamic and hardworking one.His influence help me earn the highest score in Science, the subject that he teach me.

Mr Heng live just downstair. When I screw up with my study I would drop by his house and ask for help. He is indeed a good teacher,for instance he is happy and pleased to my visit.He even would offer me a meal when I pay a visit to him. Mr. Heng is also a best friend for me. He is willing to share his story and experience with me.Whenever I got into trouble with my parents, I would turn to him for his advice.He would listen without condemning me but at the same time, he helps me see my parents' point of view.Whenever I am bored, he would engage me into some jokes or games. He is a live wire to the students, he often crack joke on his lesson.I love the way he teaches us,so I never absent his class.

He goes jogging everyday.Sometimes, he is annoy,he always tells me not to eat all the junk food.He would demand me to exercise with him every morning. What a gracious to me... But I really appreciate to him sometimes.He regards me as his son since he does not have a son. I would never forget about him regardless how far we are drifted away.

Mr.Heng has been a great influence in my life and I am very fortunate to have such a great teacher.
Misius 4 / 12 3  
Apr 13, 2013   #6
He always sports a crew-cut

He taught me the value of hardworking from the day one better - first day of our meeting at the tuition center

to transform my personality from a lazy onepersonality to a more dynamic and hardworking one

His influence helped me earn the highest score in Science, the subject that he teaches me.

Mr Heng livesjust downstairs

for instance he is happy and pleased to my visit

and pleased to help me/to meet me

he often cracks joke

I never absentmiss his class

Sometimes, he is annoy,

??

But I really appreciate to him sometimes

I really appreciate this

I would never forget about him
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 13, 2013   #7
.His influence helped me earn the highest score in Science, the subject that he teach me.

When I screw up with my study I would drop by his house and ask for help.

When I screw up with my studies I would drop by his house and ask for help.

He is indeed a good teacher,for instance he is happy and pleased to my visit.

He is not only a good teacher, but a very good human being who is ever willing to help others. In particular, he wishes the success of his students with all his heart.

He even would offer me a meal when I pay a visit to him.

He is one of the most generous persons I have ever met and even would offer me a meal when I pay a visit to his house.


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