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(SAT essay)ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever?


stranger4ever 8 / 29  
Sep 8, 2010   #1
Note: I wrote this essay in about 25 min according to the Sat ESSAYS. Please grade it min1& max 6.

ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever? This is one of many questions that people ask these days. Well, no one can answer such a question because such a question will be answered as time passes by. To get an exact answer quickly, you will have to abet from a psychic, which is not a wise idea! But, we can make a probability to approximately find an answer.

That is why I decided to make a contest about heroes, to see if people still remember them. Because Henry Wadsworth once said:" Time has a doomsday book, on whose pages he is continually recording illustrious names. But as often as a new name is written there, an old one disappears. Only a few stand in illuminated characters never to be effaced. Before starting my contest, I had to collect some heroes' names. There are too many, and in various categories. A person can be a hero in anything, as an artist, solider, president, inventor, and the list goes on. Covert that I finished writing my questions, I directly started the contest. Not only in my country, but also worldwide, by posting my contest on my Face book and MySpace account.

The contest in my country was going fine. Many people participated, but few who had good answers. Questions related to the country's heroes where almost answered perfectly, hence history is being studied in school. The contest on the web was surprisingly being answered from all ages and countries. But some left some comments that shows that some people do not even care about heroes. I remember a comment from a girl called Sandy saying:" Who is Thomas Edison, is he renowned, why do not you just ask about Justin Bieber, he is much renown than him!"Others said that my question where knotty.

But some where good, one gave me the whole biography of Shakespeare. And the other gave me Leonardo Da Vinch painting names with an explanation of each paint. Adam caught my attention on his Michael Jackson comment. He explained how the king of pop impacts his life and how he was affected by Michael's Biography. This proofs my theory that anyone could be a hero in any category .

After doing the contest, I made the following conclusion. Heroes are like one's favorite song, it may last for a while, but it will be replaced by a new one later. Except for those who believe that nothing loses its value when it becomes old. I end my observation by saying that It does not matter how long years will fly by, at least some people will know our heroes value and try to spread the knowledge worldwide.
OP stranger4ever 8 / 29  
Sep 8, 2010   #2
Help me please and comment, I will take the sat test in 32 days. Grade me plz,if u dont know how,check my previous essay, i posted on it a comment on how to grade an sat essay min1 max 6
yuvly 4 / 11  
Sep 8, 2010   #3
Many people participated, but few who had good answers.

Others said that my question where ?? was knotty
But some where were good.
Leonardo Da VinchVinci
the conclusion is interesting indeed, well i would give you a grade of 4 for the ideas.
OP stranger4ever 8 / 29  
Sep 10, 2010   #5
Others said that my question where??

I meant my questions where knotty.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 10, 2010   #6
But some left some comments that shows that some people do not even care about heroes.

Others said that my question where knotty.

But some where good, one gave me the whole biography of Shakespeare. And the other gave me Leonardo Da Vinci painting names with an explanation of each paint.

Heroes are like one's favorite song: they may last for a while, but they will be replaced by new ones later.

An exception might be found among those who believe that nothing loses its value when it becomes old. I end my observation by saying that it does not matter how ...

no, no, use the word regardless:
I end my observation by saying that regardless of how many years fly by, at least some people will know our heroes' value and try to spread the knowledge worldwide.

Okay, I am happy to say that you have only minor problems. I thought the essay was a 5 or maybe even a 6 because it can still get a 6 with a few minor errors. But actually, at the end I took away a whole point because of the last sentence. The last sentence says heroes will always be remembered, but you also said they get replaced like a favorite song.

The whole essay is brilliant, but you SEEM to contradict yourself at the end. So... I was going to give you a 5.5 but now I give you a 4.5. Maybe others would give this a solid 5.

:-)
OP stranger4ever 8 / 29  
Sep 14, 2010   #7
thanks for your comment,but i said few will remember not evryone will remember heroes.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 17, 2010   #8
Yes,I know what you really mean. That's why I said "seem"... it made me have to go back and read the paragraph again...

Also, I want to make sure you notice this:
I end my observation by saying that It it does not matter how...----

:-)


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