Hey guys. I don't know what happened but somehow my previous thread vaporised after a while.I don't know if it was deleted or what. I don't know if i violated anything but just in case this essay is for a Key Club speech competition I'm in. I don't expect you all to know much about the Bahamas but i was hoping that i could get advice on the structure , vocab and description elements.
To the Honorable chair-person, members of the judging panel, and my audience, I say good evening.
The Islands of the Bahamas are a cluster of island-gems reclining in brilliant relief upon the face of the mighty Atlantic Ocean. Each of our islands gives rise to new alluring sights, veiled wonders and new encounters to embark on. The Bahamas can truly boast of many priceless yet little-heard-of pieces of our, landscape such as our blue holes and the mysteries they hold within ; or our wild life such as Abaco's Wild horses which are under the serious threat of extinction. These beautiful wonders could only be preserved when we the Guardians of these priceless treasures would take the time to discover them.
Through Webster's Ninth Edition of their New Collegiate dictionary we learn that blue holes are vertical, underwater sink-holes that form an expansive system of sea-caves. But to the average Bahamian we would just recognize a blue hole as some deep hole, on the family islands that probably isn't safe to swim in. Unfortunately this perspective could have come about because , according to the Department of Statistics only about 11 percent of Bahamians have ever seen a blue-hole. Bahamian blue holes are especially precious because they are the deepest in the world; in-fact in April of 2010 William Trubridge broke a world-free-diving record by going to a depth of 356 feet beneath the surface of Deans Blue Hole in Long Island. But yet even more hidden than the actual blue hole itself, is the new-world contained in the depths of the topaz-colored waters. New species of fish that are only found in Bahamian blue holes have been discovered and new species are being discovered every-time scientists delve deeper into the gullet of these beautiful blue blessings. Bahamian Blue Holes are a true wonder to discover!
Apart from those at petting zoos, horses are a rare sight in the Bahamas. But I can bet you didn't know , that the Bahamas has its own breed of wild horses. These wild horses are inhabitants of The Abacos and are called barb-horses. These horses once roamed free through the wide-open pine-forests of Abaco. These horses represented the majestic beauty of the Island of Abaco. Unfortunately the population of the 'barb-horses' has drastically plummeted. This is because of the constant deforestation of the Abaco pine-forests. Because of this the current population of wild horses, is exactly 5. Yes 5 horses left in existence. Yes 5 Bahamian treasure-pieces yet to see. These horses have therefore been placed on the critically endangered list of the World Animal Extinction Organization. It is a shame that we have let a once plentiful Bahamian Treasure dwindle down to next to nothing.
It is important that we as Bahamians recognize the beauty we have all around us; some of it going unrecognized right under our feet. It is those unrecognized facets of our culture, surroundings and our wildlife that, un-seen to most of the country's inhabitants, enrich The Nation. To those who dare to be adventurous and dare to explore there will always be more wonders to find; and I remain confident that there are many more hidden treasures under our sand, or hidden in beneath our surf for us all to uncover so that they can be shared with the next generation of Bahamians before they dwindle away from us and become a fading memory.
I enjoyed your informative essay, as it was well written besides a handful of easily correctable grammar errors , though, you may want to start a little stronger in hopes of captivating your audience straightaway. You provide ample evidence about your passion towards your culture, which adds strength to your character. I think you did a good job.
