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IELTS Writing task 2: High consumption of soft beverages - reasons and solutions


duongthao 1 / -  
Feb 15, 2020   #1

Sugar-based drinks issue



People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

High consumption of soft beverages is emerging as a contentious topic of today's society. This practice is attributed to some main reasons and can be addressed by definite methods associated with sugar-based drinks taxation and the provision of health information.

People increasingly drink sweetened beverages which results from different factors. Firstly, the sweet taste in beverages containing sugar encourages customers, especially youngsters, to purchase and consume them. As most soft drinks include sugar-related ingredients, they stimulate the palate and heighten taste sensations which make drinkers become more interested in these beverages. In Vietnam, for instance, they could be an essential part in daily meals since only when some children have this kind of drink do they can finish their meals. Another compelling reason is that in competitive market of soft beverages, sugary drinks companies create tremendous marketing strategies which attract a great number of buyers. These drink conglomerates run advertisement campaigns on televisions or social media and presently, an effective way is advertising products with eminent stars. Pepsi, which is the quintessence of this marketing trend, is a preferable choice of drinkers because Messi, the most famous football player, represents it.

The massive soft beverages' consumption can be solved by the following remedies. The government could levy more tax on sweetened drinks which could discourage consumers from purchasing them. The rise in the price of these beverages can place financial pressure on average-income working people. Therefore, they might consume less soft drinks. Additionally, as drinks containing sugar produce some adverse effects on human health such as obesity and diabetes, the authorities can diffuse the information about both physical and mental health deterioration of these unhealthy beverages to the public through mass media. Some short videos about health hazards and the organization of some educational propaganda and events with health experts could allow consumers to enhance their awareness of undesirable effects of sweetened drinks which is conducive to lower rate of people consuming them.

In conclusion, great level of drinking sugar-based products is caused by different reasons, including their taste and clever marketing methods, and can be diminished by the imposition of higher tax and more health campaigns. It is recommended that people should lower their consumption of these beverages for the sake of their health.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,582 2488  
Feb 15, 2020   #2
Woah! 375 words??? You would be writing well over the 40 minute allotment for this task with this type of presentation. Did you remember to use a timer when you worked on this practice test? Most students forget that they need to time themselves when doing the practice test so that a proper estimation of the number of words you can write within the given time-frame can be made. You are not writing a school essay here. You are writing a language exam essay. That means, you need to leave an allowance for editing time. Always use a timer. You will be thankful you practiced under time pressure when you get to the exam center.

It is best to practice writing short but coherent and concise presentations. Each paragraph is allotted a maximum of 5 sentences, which allows you write up to 300 words for the whole essay. Aim to utilize the full 5 sentence allowance even though the minimum requirement is 3 sentences per paragraph. Don't just keep on writing to make the essay longer. A longer essay never assures the exam taker of a high score. You know what will assure that? A proper representation of every scoring requirement within your presentation.

That, is normally achieved by focusing on the clarity of the presentation instead of the number of words. In your essay, you really wrote a massive number of words, but did not focus on the clarity of the discussion. Which will have a great effect on your overall score. Long sentences also indicate run-on presentations, or the combination of 2 or more ideas on one sentence, which leads to less clarity in your discussion and therefore, a lower C&C and GRA score.
Gaucho 8 / 16  
Feb 16, 2020   #3
Some grammatical mistakes that you could fix:

... essential part OF ...

... in THE competitive market ...

... as THE drinks containing ...

... THE HIGH level of drinking ...


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