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The high cost of leaving belongs to the largest drawbacks of Fairmont Island. IELTS


Mimi07 9 / 15 2  
May 1, 2016   #1
The most common benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island, according to survey of visitors, is presented in the pie charts. It is important to note that, high cost of leaving is the largest drawbacks, while it can be seen food quality is very low among the others. In contrast, the popular in the most common benefits is the people, fairly similar with scenery.

Turning to the most common drawbacks, high cost of living shows the popular what visitors claimed to dislike about, at under half. Then, entertainment is the second popular in the most general drawbacks, it is less than a third. Then, weather experience a fifth of proportion. Interestingly, visitors choose food quality the lowest percentage their unpleased, at 5%.

However, the people is the largest reason visitor come to this island, at two-fifth. This proportion can be seen fairly similar with the scenery, at 37%. After that, the good accomodation lowest rank attracts people choose this island. It shows similarity with culture, differing only 1%.




mersad 8 / 14 6  
May 2, 2016   #2
Hi please note the following points which can improve the writing.
1- it is recommended to write a short introduction (first paragraph). Then, 2 strong paragraphs to cover the most important points of the two charts. Finally write a short conclusion (optional).

2- "survey of visitors" is copied from the topic. It is better to use an alternative like "opinion poll"
3- However, the people is the largest reason visitor come to this island , at two-fifth. the people is the most important reason which encourages visitors to...

I hope you find these useful.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
May 3, 2016   #3
Hi Mimi, I'd like to share additional insights to your analysis.

- ofin Fairmont Island,
- according to the survey of visitors,
- high cost of leavingliving (leaving - to go away / living - cost of daily expenses ) is the largest drawbacks ,
- while it can be seen that food
- among the others.
- In contrastOn the contrary ,
- the popular inand the most common
- with its scenery.

- drawbacks , high cost of living
- shows as the popular reason to - at under half the percentage . T

There you have it Mimi, I hope the corrections help.
I left the last few sentences of the analysis so that you will be able to try editing it yourself, following the modifications done above. Remember, when the words sounds the same, that doesn't mean that they mean the same thing, so you should be very careful.


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