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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: HIGH INCOME OF SPORTS PROFESSIONALS


halleybachelor 16 / 25 1  
Feb 5, 2014   #1
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is a fact that many sports professionals, such as famous basketball, football and golf players, are living with high income, which arouses debates about whether it is fair or not. In my opinion, they deserve what they have due to the following reasons.

First of all, the success of sports professionals is made through their own efforts and talents. Champions or medalists in professional games are all born with exclusive gifts in sports, which determine the levels average people cannot reach. It is rather natural for the best competitors to be rewarded more than others. At the same time, they pay more sweat and pains in their road to success than what people can imagine. When we claim fairness, we should not just focus on their luxury lives, but also accept that they have to sacrifice part of their personal lives and handle high pressure from fierce competitions.

Secondly, their high income is due to people's attentions concentrated on them as well. In modern society, many people are keener on sports events, such as Olympic Games, World Cup and Formula 1, than events in other areas. As a result, a great deal of money can be made by selling tickets. Therefore, since people are willing to pay money to watch, it is not reasonable to complain about what sports players earn through their contributions.

Furthermore, a big part of their income is made through advertisements. In other words, their high income is one of the results of being celebrities, who always make commercials more attractive. If they do not have revenues from endorsements and sponsorships, I believe they would not become so rich as people see today.

To conclude, the wealthiness of sports professionals is fully justified if all the factors contributing to it are taken into account. It is the peculiarities of their profession that decide their level of income.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 5, 2014   #2
Well, I don't say this is a bad introduction. You are somewhere there and it seems you can write well. However, there are certain features that your intro needs to contain for this task.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 17, 2014   #3
Based in Dumi suggestion, You already deliver Background and Thesis statement well. Consider to use hook for catch reader interesting

It is a fact that many sports professionals, such as famous basketball, football and golf players, are living with high income, which arouses debates about whether it is fair or not. In my opinion, they deserve what they have due to the following reasons.

better that you re phrasing the prompt in your conclusion also.

To conclude, the wealthiness of sports professionals is fully justified if all the factors contributing to it are taken into account. It is the peculiarities of their profession that decide their level of income.
Fardhani Putri 23 / 46 7  
Feb 17, 2014   #4
Hi there..

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

... please read carefully the prompt, you have to discuss both these views.. I've read your essay and it's just about one perspective how athletes can earn more money and you don't mention about the other important jobs so it could be loss one point

please pay attention with the task
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 18, 2014   #5
Secondly, their high income is due to people's attentions concentrated on them as well.

This is a pretty weak sentence. It does not deliver a clear idea :( .... What do you actually mean? Are you talking about their popularity? If so, tell that more straight!

In modern society, many people are keener on sports events, such as Olympic Games, World Cup and Formula 1, than events in other areas

keener? I feel you better say;
many people are more keen on sports events

Secondly, their high income is due to people's attentions concentrated on them as well...

Give more focus to the real reason here. In my view, the publicity given by media to these events have aroused people's interest in these sporting events.


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