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IELTS WRITING TASK - 2 Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men


Sabi Thapaa 3 / 5 1  
Jun 22, 2014   #1
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.

Now we are in the era of trade, where every individual want to achieve high level position in their work place. However, the most of the organizations prefer male candidates to be managerial level even though there are more than halve of the employees are woman. People think there should be reserve some portion for female. Hence, I believe that the main goal of companies is to earn profit rather than allocating the men and women.

In 21st century, men and women are equally engage to take the responsibilities of business organization and perform as a good team together. To lead the company, employee should have some special qualities. For instance, leadership, communication, and good educational background such kinds of skills are necessary to compete for managerial level position. But the scenario is little different, most of the company prefer male candidates on the higher position. Since, male staffs have adequate time to perform their duties in office. On the other hand, women have more obligations toward their family and our society have very narrow concept towards working woman. They believe that only men can able to handle the financial and decision making part of company.

However, some of the companies have very positive view regarding working women. They give equal priority to women in such higher position. They thought that women can better understand employee emotions and their obstacles, they can motivate them to be honest and enhance the work efficiency. Similarly, women have more perfection and dedication then men towards their work.

In conclusion, men and women are the part of a same coin. They have their own qualities and specialties. I believe that there should not be any discrimination between male and female by their gender on the process of selecting employees. The qualification and abilities should be give as first priority rather than gender.

icebeating 3 / 8 1  
Jun 22, 2014   #2
every individual want wants
men and women are equally engage engaged to
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jun 22, 2014   #3
However, the most of the organizations prefer male candidates to be managerial level even though there are more than halve half of the employees are woman.

try to be more carefully to some details, or small mistakes that you made
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 16, 2014   #4
Now we are in theera of trade, where every individual want to achieve high level position in their work place.

.... What is the significance of "era of trade" for this idea? I don't understand why you mentioned that and its relevance to the topic :(

Also, I wish your first sentence (which needs to be an effective hook for your essay) is more interesting, catchy and relevant to your topic.

Hence, I believe that the main goal of companies is to earn profit rather than allocating the men and women.

This is not actually an answer to the issue that your prompt suggests. It is asking you whether the companies should have positions in the corporate management for women. Try to align your writing more with the prompt.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 26, 2014   #5
men and women are the part of a same coin.

this part contains vague language, which is not clear for me. Please check it

For instance,

I always suggest others to have journalistic questions when stating an example as to specify their idea. These questions consist of " how many? who? what? when? results?

every individual wantS

a subject and verb agreement.

They thought that women can better understand employee emotions and their obstacles, they can motivate them to be honest and enhance the work efficiency

there are two sentences running together. This shows bad grammar. Please check it


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