*Hello this is my first essay. I'm going to be a freshmen in high school this September and i'm desperately in need of writing help. I'm attending an extremely strict school which grades essays very harshly. I am very well aware I did a very shabby job writing this paragraph, and that is why I require such help. Please leave criticisms on my essay and help lead me to become a better writer. Just please don't say my essay sucks and than leave. I really need some assistance and constructive criticism would definitely help. Thank you for reading.*
-Richard
As students progress further into high school, they will have to eventually deal with an enormous problem. Time. During Junior and Senior years, students would soon be avalanched by college applications, SAT preparatory classes, AP classes and a multitude of other time consuming hassles leaving little to no reprieves. They would be forced to live in a constant cycle: sleep, breakfast,schoolwork,lunch,schoolwork, dinner,homework, sleep. Rinse and repeat for another two whole years. By the time they graduate high school, not only will they be wearied out physically but also mentally; many will experience severe anxiety, lethargy, and even social disconnection. Students simply need an extra year just to spread out the work load which will help make their lives MUCH easier.
Not only does providing a fifth year allows students to have more leeway, but it could also vastly improve their college resumes. Originally, students barely had enough time to accomplish anything that could help additionally brighten up their resumes; AP classes- impossible to fit into their bountiful schedules, community service hours- forced somewhere between college interviews and applications during the weekend, extracurricular activities-definately forget about it. Without anything decorating their resumes, students would appear lazy and undesirable in front of most universities ,when in reality it is actually the contrary. If the school board only decided to extend the school year, than students will have ample time to complete their college requirements and to buff their resumes with previously 'impossible to allow tasks'. In the end, this could draw a fine line between hardworking students and the average crowd; those who are diligent to their work could finally be rewarded.
In conclusion, students should be granted an additional year to high school. 4 years is simply ridiculous, so much work could not be simply crammed into such a short timespan. Students are humans too, they shouldn't be treated as machines incapable of lethargy.
As students progress further into high school, they will have to eventually deal with an enormous problem. Time. During Junior and Senior years, (they) would soon be avalanched by college applications...
That's the only mistake I noticed but great essay! :)
