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High school graduate or experience which important to get job?


Nisa_sultan 2 / 2  
Mar 22, 2017   #1
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skill is more important.

Discuss both side and give your opinion.


High school graduation or experience



Some of people believe that graduate from high school is the best way to get job in the future. Yet, other believe experience and soft skill is crucial point to get job in the future. This essay will discuss which important completing university education or getting experience and developing soft skill.

Graduate from university has great opportunity for job seekers. It is because most of company nowadays look for employees who has certificate of high school due to they have basic knowledge and skill to hold of position in a company. Therefore, the employers tend to choose job seekers who had finished their high school as their employees. Take my experience as an example, when I was visited job fair almost of company has general requirements that is certificate of high school, as like HRD position. It is because this position will use psychology tools due to he/she have to have basic knowledge and skill to use this tools when they fill this position.

In contrast, have certificate as graduate without experience also has problems. Because world work usually followed unpredictable thing that not mention in book. Hence, experience will help at this situation. Take mechanic as an example, in which some of them not graduate from high school but they learn about machine since they was young. Therefore, they usually face and solve problems from their experience and also when they solve their problems they will increase their ability.

To sum up, have basic knowledge and skill can help employees to adapt with their job but without experience will be obstacle and might slumped their job performance. Therefore, I tend to believe that as employees we must have both of them to get best job future.

RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Mar 22, 2017   #2
Hello, Nisa
Your introduction is simple and directly to the point. However, it is not error-free. the way you paraphrase the question is still too similar with your writing (the best way to get job), "to get job" even repeated twice there. many words from the question that you did not change or look for the synonyms ones. this will affect your lexical resource marking. remember, to produce a well essay with a high score in vocabulary does not mean you should deliver many uncommon or advanced words, you just need to show that you have a good skill on communicating English via your writing by flexibly use varied vocabulary on delivering your sentence.

This essay will discuss which important completing university education or getting experience and developing soft skill.

this sentence should be grammatically revise.

overall, your idea is relevant. But, again, you still produce many errors, particularly on the function or meaning of your sentence. consider this:

look for employees who has certificate of high school due to they have basic knowledge and skill to hold of position in a company. Therefore, the employers tend to choose job seekers who had finished their high school as their employees.


graduated from high school obviously different with university graduate. you need to clearly able to differentiate it. this makes your explanation irrelevant.

keep improving your writing. break a leg
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,311 3347  
Mar 23, 2017   #3
Nisa, it is very unfortunate that the errors in this essay limits your score to a failing mark of 3 in the overall band. The problems with your essay starts with the way that you inaccurately paraphrased the prompt even as you managed to deliver a mechanical, and almost imitation presentation of the original prompt. It was difficult to read and failed to indicate a proper outline for the discussion that included a reference to your personal opinion as per the prompt instructions.

Throughout the second paragraph, you kept on referring to High School when, I believe that you meant to say college. There is a clear difference between the two as most employers prefer a college graduate over a high school graduate. Always keep a clear head when writing these essays and make sure that you refer back to the original prompt when you are done writing in order to confirm that you actually discussed the requirements properly. Speaking of which, there is a missing paragraph in the essay referring to your personal opinion. It is because of these mistakes that you could not possibly get a passing score for this essay.


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