Your introduction is simple and directly to the point. However, it is not error-free. the way you paraphrase the question is still too similar with your writing (the best way to get job)
, "to get job" even repeated twice there. many words from the question that you did not change or look for the synonyms ones. this will affect your lexical resource marking. remember, to produce a well essay with a high score in vocabulary does not mean you should deliver many uncommon or advanced words, you just need to show that you have a good skill on communicating English via your writing by flexibly use varied vocabulary on delivering your sentence.
This essay will discuss which important completing university education or getting experience and developing soft skill.
this sentence should be grammatically revise.
overall, your idea is relevant. But, again, you still produce many errors, particularly on the function or meaning of your sentence. consider this:
look for employees who has certificate of high school due to they have basic knowledge and skill to hold of position in a company. Therefore, the employers tend to choose job seekers who had finished their high school as their employees.graduated from high school obviously different with university graduate. you need to clearly able to differentiate it. this makes your explanation irrelevant.
keep improving your writing. break a leg