TOEFL: A/G: It is good for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students.
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The teenage stage is an essential, if not very sensitive, part of the human growth. By this time, teenagers are somewhat mature enough to know that hard work brings benefits and experience leads to valuable lessons for the preparation of the future. For this reason, I believe it is absolutely positive for teenagers to have part-time jobs as they attend schools in order to have a taste of society and adulthood before they become one.
Teenagers are still in the stage of learning. They realize math is annoying but deep inside, they also learn how essential math is for living and life itself. By having the ability to recognize truth behind their education, they are ready to learn more about adulthood so that they may join society as adults themselves. Having a part-time job is the perfect method to allow them to feel what it means to be an adult. By working with their own two hands and the sweat from their foreheads, they will have the opportunity to experience how it feels to work and earn their rewards for their efforts. Not only will they learn what 'working' really means and feels, they will also have the chance to be part of society. As they work, they will value the connection of friends, people, and family and thus treasure them more. For example, I myself didn't make a lot of friends nor did I work hard when I was in middle school. As I worked during my high school years, I learned that friends are precious beings to talk and share perspectives and how authentic endeavors never bring anything negative. As one can see, working can bring clarity and valuable chances to feel society, which is why I believe high school students would benefit tremendously if they worked before they graduate.
On the other hand, if teenagers do not have the capacity and determination to work, this can take a large toll on their future. Without having any work experience, they would most definitely struggle if they enter the workforce after graduation. Without knowing the ropes, they will have to learn through their mistakes and reprimands from their authorities. This can lead to a very negative first impression to the others which can in turn lead to a dark future where very few would commend their work or recommend them to other more prominent company. In fact, my roommate had a difficult time when he first entered the workforce with no experience whatsoever. He eventually learned, but the blunders he made from his arrival marked him as a slow learner to many authorities. Despite the fact he worked hard after his mistakes, he rarely was congratulated or had his raise quicker than other employees. Society is a cruel place where it doesn't forgive nor forgets. In order to prosper, one must have a clean record and an impressive initial impression on many people. To achieve this, high school students can head start by learning the ropes before fighting the big match to prepare. For these reasons, I believe it is auspicious for high school students to have jobs.
The nascent stage of teenagers must be optimized in order to completely have the advantage of a bright future. To have this advantage, high school students should work because it provides priceless experiences in work and life
It is during the teenage years that most students come to fully understand the value of work. By this age, most students have learned that there is a relationship between work and having nice things. For this reason, I believe that high school is the ideal time to introduce students to "real life" work in the form of part-time jobs.
Part-time jobs can build character, helping students appreciate how hard adults work to provide for their families. They give students the opportunity to feel like they are members of their communities, a feeling which will hopefully encourage them to become good citizens as adults. Part-time jobs can also build connections with people who may be able to help students later in life. Students can form friendships and find mentors early in life by working some during their high school years.
stage is an essential, if not very sensitive, [...] adulthood before they become one.
Teenagers are still in the stage of learning. (Here, maybe you can address how high school students are at a point in their lives where learning new skills and new ways of relating to people may be easier than it would be later in life).
They realize math is annoying but deep inside, they [...] tremendously if they worked before they graduate.
High school students who do not pursue part-time jobs are at risk of being unprepared and vulnerable when they try to enter the workforce. They may make mistakes that could have been prevented if they had "learned the ropes" during their high school years. Motivated, intelligent students who do not work during high school can still prevail, but they may find that success comes later for them than it does for their peers who did work.
On the other hand, if teenagers do not have the capacity [...] auspicious for high school students to have jobs.
nascent stage of teenagers must be optimized in order to completely have the advantage ofteen years are the optimal time for students to prepare for a bright future, and I believe that working during this time helps them to do so . To have this advantage, high school students should ...
I hope that has helped you!
Thank you for your post, being a contributor, I'm sure you are quite busy reading and editing essays left and right...
However, I am discontent with your style of editing... What I want and need is feedback, not an entire new essay wrote by someone else. I really appreciate your effort in making an essay that may be more fitting or advanced suited for the topic, but that isn't the reason why I posted my essay in this site. The reason why I wrote and posted my own essay is so that people can read and discuss how to make it better or criticize what feels off and misplaced. Completely crossing my words and replacing them with yours doesn't make it mine anymore... In fact it's quite disrespectful, and as a young writer, I do have pride and respect for my own writings. If I wanted an example of an essay, I would have just typed the topic of the essay would I have not? Without any explanation why my words are crossed out and was replaced with yours makes little sense. You could at least tell me why you felt compelled to write an entire new essay...
In addition, as a reminder, this is a TOEFL essay... Toefl essays require at minimum 300 words which I highly doubt what you wrote is close to that amount. If you edited my essay, at the very least... know which essay you are writing and which style you have to abide by.
Please do not find my words offensive, I have no animosity towards you, but crossing the writings of a young writer and replacing them with yours without a single explanation or stated reason is intolerable. I highly advice you to explain your reasons behind this action so that we may discuss our perspectives. Thank you.