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TOEFL - High schools must be responsible for their future with well-planned curriculum.


Taku 1 / 1  
Mar 5, 2012   #1
Dear. All
Could you correct my essay? I'm going to take TOEFL in a month and need a good score, but... Anyway, thank you!

Topic: Do you agree or dis agree with the following statement? High schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people state that high schools should allow students to study what they want to. They believe this motivates students to study. I think, however, students should study a broad range of subjects from literature to mathematics. I believe that tertiary education should make students prepare for specialization at university. In addition, it should be to some extent paternalistic to prevent students from avoiding hurdles.

To begin with, students have to find one or more fields of study in which they are really interested. They should not decide their future major without trying a broad range of subjects, otherwise they might miss valuable encounter with the subject. For instance, a would-be mathematician student may be strongly intrigued by philosophy and make a success in the field.

Next, students should obtain knowledge from a variety of academic fields. General education plays a significant role in specialized education. Science today, for example, is said to be more and more specialized, but in order to solve a problem scientists have to combine knowledge from chemistry to physics. In addition, although textbooks used in higher education are labelled particular subjects, in fact they require basic understanding of other subjects. For instance, you sometimes need knowledge about physics to read a text on chemistry. Therefore, high school students should learn broadly and prepare future learning at university.

Last but not least, students have tendency to shun difficulties. They might avoid tough courses, but instead attend mainly Mickey Mouse courses and enjoy themselves too much. This might result in limited choices in the future. Therefore, schools should be responsible for their future and protect them.

In summary, students should find interesting subjects and acquire general knowledge to prepare higher education at tertiary education. Besides, high school must be responsible for their future with well-planned curriculum.

omo5031 8 / 33  
Mar 5, 2012   #2
Some people statebelieve that high schools should allow students to study what they want to. They believe this motivates students to study. I think, however,that students should study a broad range of subjects from literature to mathematics.

Sorry, I don't really have time to correct this but I swiflty read through it and found some mistakes. I also think that you need to range the essay more. Its too broad and at times you shift away from your original stand, which I believe is that you are opposing other peole's views.. Good luck.
OP Taku 1 / 1  
Mar 6, 2012   #3
Thank you for your help. I need to make more efforts.
And I enjoyed your essay. You must have undergone sever hardships. But now, you are applying to Oxford. Super!


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