Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2

[Writing task 2 - IELTS] Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years.

Lisa_1807 1 / -  
Sep 10, 2020   #1

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years.

why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

Shopping online is developing in technology's world and it is a reason make traditional stores have disappeared in recent years. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons and positive or negative for development.

On the one hand, there are many reasons why high street shops are disappearing. Firstly, online shopping is faster, cheaper and more convenient than traditional brick-and-mortar stores. For example, people can sit at home with a smartphone or a computer connect with the internet. They can search on the website to purchase products which they want to buy with the lower price than traditional stores. After that, they can receive items within 2 or 3 days. Additionally, products which you can not find in your local, you can buy it online without to find other traditional stores. Secondly, shopping online has many choices for customer to choose the product they need with high quality.

On the other hand, shopping online development brings many benefits and drawbacks. The most important thing about shopping online is saving time. For example, shopping online is a solution for busy people as those who can not leave their house. Besides, a world of choice help people have many choices and buy items suitable for their styles and characters. However, shopping online uses the system to run programs on the website, so stores do not need over employments when they use the website to sell products. Therefore, shopping online is rising unemployment and loss of community as high streets become deserted.

In conclusion, shopping online brings many benefits and it is a cause to make traditional stores meet difficulties. For traditional brick-and-mortar stores, they can connect with shopping online to can sell their products better.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,317 2868  
Sep 10, 2020   #2
You did a good job in delivering the reasons why you think high street shops have gone out of business. You did not do a good job on 2 fronts through:

- There is no clear reference to the high street shops as indicated in the original prompt
- You failed to properly respond to the question provided

The latter part will be seen by the examiner as a reference to your indecision. You must provide a clear opinion in this type of essay. Opt to defend one side. Think of which side you know more about and can discuss in a clear manner. Then use that point of view for the discussion. You cannot choose to defend both sides because you are asked "Is it a positive or negative development". Based on the question, you cannot say it is both. The word OR indicates that you have to choose one side of the debate to represent.

Home / Writing Feedback / [Writing task 2 - IELTS] Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years.