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Higher education of advanced learning and teaching - better jobs for graduates?

manjit809 5 / 14 2  
Nov 3, 2012   #1
Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Higher Education has always been pivotal for shaping a personality to be well focused and career oriented and universities contribute key roles here in by providing the knowledge, skills and talent required. It has been seen as a debatable issue whether universities should emphasize on professional aspects of education or to be it demanding for the social system.

Some people are convinced with the idea that a student in university should be nurtured in a way to gain a good job prospectus. Firstly, in today's cut throat competitive era, education is the only which can sustain a student to turn up as a good professional. Secondly, the main motive and the sole responsibility of these institutes are to equip a learner with the competence that can excel him to meet the challenges of rapidly changing work scenario.

Others opine that rather being merely occupation based, other benefits for the society are not to be ignored. A learner first is a social being and education grooms an overall personality. One has to be fully acquainted with the duties and responsibilities which have far reaching fruitful impacts for the individual and the society as well.

However, my personal view consolidates the idea that university education should enlighten and elevate the overall learning capability of disciples, where they are efficient enough to accomplish their professional objectives and can help raise the standard of society.

Eventually, the true purpose of advanced learning and teaching should bring optimum laurels for the whole as one.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Nov 3, 2012   #2
Higher Education has always been pivotal for shaping a personality....

... this sentence is too long and therefore it sounds confusing to the reader. By splitting it two sentences, you can improve clarity of this sentence.

Also, it is better if you express your view very briefly in the introduction.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 6, 2012   #3
I have some suggestions on your second essay. Hope you find them helpful.
No doubt, humans beings that are known as social animals, usually seek help from others' help . This assistance can be in various forms; however, financial aid can be critical sometimes specially from friends. I do affirm that money can be a troublesome factor in friendship. (the thesis statement you wrote is not clear enough. I think you should rewrite it. In addition it would be better to write the reasons why you took this position. As I said before, these reasons are an outline for the body and this what is called "blueprint".

Friendship is a unique relationship between people , though not developed through blood but is the fundamental to bring people closerto each other . Nevertheless, to trust an ally to lend a big amount of money is not as easy as to break nut. Although, friends keep a good bond with each other, yet money cannot be the basis. under question (why dose it happen? Support what you claim. Elaborate on this paragraph to clearly convey your idea) .

Today... (I think you should work on the supporting sentences. You should clearly describe whatever you say in a paragraph. You can use examples, quotations, statistics, personal experience, etc as supporting sentences. The use of examples and personal experiences are the easiest ways for supporting the topic sentence) .

Your grammar and vocabulary are good, but you should use more convincing supporting sentences in the body

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