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IELTS: higher education or workplace? Professional knowledge is the most decisive factor.


Pyon9x 11 / 24 9  
Aug 19, 2014   #1
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Pursuing a higer education degree or going straight to workplace after graduating from highschool seems to be a hard decision. Althought both choices have their pros and cons, I believe it is important to finish your university or college before getting a profession.

On the one hand, the progression from a educated background to a professional success is often linear. Since the professional knowledge and skill ,which are always required by job market, are usually taught at universities and colleges, university students could find themselves better prepared for the workplace. If they do not attend university or college, it will take them much longer to get used to the jobs, and it is also difficult for the personal department to judge the candidates' ablitity if there is not any qualifications to base on.

On the other hand, it is argued that only workplace can help students to gain essential experiences for the jobs. There are so many unforeseeable problems that employees have to face in any profession, so it is imperative that the candidate for the jobs ought to be experienced in dealing with these issues. The only way to be more experienced in certain job is working in the field for a long time. That is why the employers always priotise candidates with years of working in relavant positions.

To conclude, althought reality experience that workplace offer are very important for ones to get successful in workplace, it seems to me that professional knowledge is the most decisive factor.

p/s: if the topic is just "Discuss both views" and does not requires "give your opinion", it is ncessary to state your own opinion in the intro? thank you so much for your reading :D

JethroJosh - / 31 26  
Aug 19, 2014   #2
Discuss both sides

and then state your opinion.

Dont write opinion in the intro if the question is discuss both sides and your opinion. If it is agree or disagree or sort of , write it in the intro and conclusion. You need 2 reasons on each side. That is the requirement of IELTS if the question is discuss both sides and opinion. You lack topic sentence in both bodies.
mvettri 6 / 10 11  
Aug 19, 2014   #3
Pursuing a higer education degree or going straight to workplace after graduating from highschool seems to be a hard decision. Althought both choices have their pros and cons, I believe it is important to finish your university or college before getting a profession.

we dont graduate from high school I suppose.

I think many improvements are required in grammar overall. please check.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Aug 19, 2014   #4
in your body paragraph, you may give some specific examples, it will make the readers easier to understand and catch your points,,also, it may increase your score,,

you may take from your knowledge or your own experiences
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 19, 2014   #5
Pursuing a higerhigher education degree or going straight to workplacestarting to work straight after graduating from highschool seems to be a hard decision. AlthoughtAlthough both choices have their pros and cons, I believe it is important to finish your university or college before getting a profession.starting a carrier.

Pay more attention to spelling as it is also an important aspect of writing :)
On the one hand, the progression from an educated background to a professional success is often shows a linear correlation.
On the other hand, it is argued that only workplace can help students to gain essential experiences and skills that are important to perform their jobs efficientlyfor the jobs.
OP Pyon9x 11 / 24 9  
Aug 21, 2014   #6
thank you a lots Dumi, fikri, mvettri, JethroJosh

i'll check my essay right away


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