Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for culture and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
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more money from tourists
In recent years, tourism has been receiving a great deal of attention due to substantial impacts on its countries' industry. Although the idea of setting a higher entrance fees for residents than foreign travelers to visit cultural and historical attractions appears reasonable, this cannot be viewed as the ultimate approach.
There are a number of reasons why foreigners should pay higher price to visit historical places. One of the reasons is that those who have financial income to travel overseas are affordable to enter these luxurious forms of entertainment, such as cultural heritages. In other words, if a visitor is wealthy enough to travel internationally, a small gap on the prices will be acceptable. In addition, all of these uniqueness and traditional places should be supported by international society, in case more expensive entrance tickets are paid as their donation. Therefore, by paying more money, international society has been supporting that flourish attractions' preservation.
On the other hand, low ticket prices of these locations are necessary for local people. First, by reducing ticket prices to local residents, there would be more motivation for them to visit cultural and historical sites. For example, since many museums and historical landmarks in Japan are free for locals, places like Tokyo tower attract mostly local people. Second, since locals do not have to pay fees as much as foreigners to visit traditional places, their lives would be improved thanks to the saving cost. Furthermore, by getting money saved from costing low fees for natives, governments will obtain the opportunity to fix those traditional sites' flaws and make it perfected.
In conclusion, receiving more money from foreign tourists who visit historical and cultural attractions can have several advantages. The government should take steps to increase the budget on the maintenence of historic sites.Hi Duy,
The opening and closing seems a bit off.
Opening:
Although the idea (...), this cannot be viewed as the ultimate approach.
This can be assumed that you are not supporting residents to be charged higher than foreigner but it also doesn't imply that foreigner should charged more than the residents too.
Closing:
The government should take steps to increase ... This last sentence can lead to discussion for another topic that doesn't need to be include in this essay at all. Instead you can wrap it up with a few points from second and third paragraph.
Other than those, I think the rest is conform to the essay prompt. :)
Hai @hausofduy
You need to state your posititon clearly in your introduction whether you agree or disagree. Then, you have to write at least 3 sentences in the first paragraph (introduction) in order to gain higher score in IELTS writing.
In your second paragraph, it is better if you put an example to support your previous statement.
Last but not the least, a conclusion in IELTS Writing Task 2 is the paraphrase from your thesis statement. While, it seems that your thesis statement and your conclusion are not related to each other. You tend to write a new idea in your conclusion which is not allowed in the conclusion of writing task 2.
I hope it can be helpful. Thanks
Hy Duy, I have read yours closely and found some needing a few improvements.
Firstly, you should analyze the questions given before you begin writing. Honestly, you have missed one of essential points. You have not shown your position clearly in the thesis statement in the introductory paragraph although it can give an examiner a description about your opinion in the body paragraph. Besides that, if you wanna get a higher score, you are supposed to impress the examiner in the first paragraph.
Turning to the body paragraph, your second reasons in the first body is less strong. You have needed a supporting sentence to strengthen your view. Giving an example can become a way to support your perspective, but that has to relate to the reason.However, you have fallen another topic in the second body. Be careful of traps of the prompts. Therefore, you should underline keywords from the given statement. In the second body, you concentrate on reviewing benefits of the low ticket for local citizen although we have to focus on the International visitors. I admit that it is tricky, but you can avoid that if you wanna analyze more.
Hopefully, those can help you to improve your essay. Practice again and again if you wanna master this.
GOOD LUCK
Hi Hau,
you really did a good work. I am a little bit concern in your third paragraph.
On the other hand, low ticket prices ...
I think you should to summarize it as ;
Reducing the cost of tickets for local residents will increase their chances to visit their cultural and historic sites compared to high ticket fees.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Duy, you would get a very disturbing score of 3 for this essay. The reason that you failed to pass this practice test stems from the fact that you did not follow the prompt instructions for the discussion. There is a lack of position on your part regarding an agreement or disagreement with the statement. You were supposed to pick one side of the argument and defend your stance within your discussion using clear evidence from either popularly known reasons or personal experiences. What you chose to do was discuss the reasons why the government should charge higher fees for foreign travelers to visit the cultural sites instead. That is in direct contradiction with the instruction that asks you to (1) agree or disagree with the statement that foreign visitors should pay more to visit these sites and then (2) explain why you have taken this stance. You were not supposed to to a comparative essay as you would in a task 1 essay. Due to the wrong discussion approach, you failed the tests.
