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Ielts task 2 - higher salary for medical personnel

jocelyne001 9 / 21 13  
Sep 9, 2019   #1

which professions need more appreciation?

Doctors and nurses make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities

Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, with the evolution of media, it seems that idols and sports stars are paid largely more than those who contribute to society like health care workers and instructors. Many debates have been raised. Some believe that contributors should earn more than entertainers. I'm in line with this idea and would express my opinions below.

First and foremost, the major rationale for providing well pays to doctors and nurses is that they are the one who has a considerable contribution to the public community. Every day and night, medical personnel make the best to take care of and cure the patients sent to hospitals. Always bearing heavy pressure on people's lives, medical workers are frustrated and tortured by every working day, including dealing with death. Furthermore, nurturing a doctor or a nurse takes much time. When a person decides to work in a hospital, at least 6 years are gone in life for more studies in school.

Owing to lots of adversities which they would encounter and the contribution they make, I believe they should earn more money than other careers, especially entertainers like actors or singers who always receive a higher salary. Although others might think that idols can bring their fans much love and passions, especially when they feel desperate in life. That means, idols are kind of incentives for some people to be alive. However, I still believe that saving one's life needs more technical processes and knowledge.

All in all, although I fully recognise the role superstars play to make people laugh and induce them to enjoy life, I reckon that medical workers deserve higher pays because of their work and contribution.

roswita116 16 / 37 17  
Sep 12, 2019   #2
Hi there.

Well-structure writing.👍👍

However, I still would like to give you some of my opinions. Hope it would help.

1. It would be better to state your opinion in the first paragraph, which means you agree or disagree.(Not just said that you will illustrate your opinions below)

2. For paragraph 2 and 3, it would be better to raise up some examples to support your ideas.

Best of luck for your future writing.
OP jocelyne001 9 / 21 13  
Sep 13, 2019   #3
OK~Thank you !
I will try ~

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