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ntcuwl 1 / -  
Mar 5, 2023   #1

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.

Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.

Some people claim that history is one of the crucial subjects, whilst some people believe that history is not as vital as these other subjects like science and technology. To some extent, I am convinced that history is not only fundamental knowledge but also the moral basis for all students. By contrast, I do agree that science and technology subjects are important to the learners' development.

On the one hand, I believe that learning history will bring a lot of social benefits for students. That is to say, history helps students understand their origin, culture, and tradition. Therefore, this subject is a beneficial vehicle for helping them develop their appreciation for their country. As a result, history will build up the students' morality in the light of receiving their ancestors' elite.

On the other hand, science and technology would be beneficial for students if they learned and applied them to their future careers. In fact, technological development has opened up a new era that people just need to adopt into every aspect of their lives to help them finish. Hence, studying those subjects will open up the possibility of applying an ideal job for students' futures.

To sum up, in my view, I strongly agree that scientific subjects are vital in helping students have enough knowledge for their lives and future occupations. However, history should be acknowledged as a crucial and instrumental subject in developing and nurturing the students' consciousness and morality.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,744 4514  
Mar 5, 2023   #2
You have done an acceptable job when it comes to the prompt restatement. It shows the 2 sides of the discussion as presented in the original discussion. The problem is with your writer's opinion. All task 2 essays require you to give a clear single opinion, even when a comparative discussion is allowed for the reasoning presentation. In this case, you agree with both sides but fail to properly format the opinion as such. You should have just indicated that you "agree" to a certain extent and left the final sentence out of the presentation since it confused the discussion. You should have only used one or the other response + thesis reason, not both. The task therefore does not reflect a clear writer's opinion.

The discussion format is also not fully acceptable in this instance because you failed to compare the public opinion with your personal insight of each viewpoint. This resulted in a single opinion presentation rather than a comparative opinion presentation. You cannot get full scoring potential because you only provided your opinion of both sides, which resulted in an under developed discussion presentation for each opinion.

Lack of clarity in the writer's opinion is the main flaw in this presentation. You failed to clearly support a valid opinion even when presenting the closing summary of the discussion. This is aside from the incorrect apostrophe usage throughout the essay and the over simplified sentence thought presentations. Try to develop a proper mix of sentences in each paragraph and, familiarize yourself with English grammar punctuation usage rules.

As a first effort, you have shown an ability to think in English and clearly represent your thoughts. Your supporting ideas are not the problem. The error lies in the opinion presentation and its related response presentation based on the given writing instruction.