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History HW - One Object that Can Reflect Modern Civilization


Sherrywu 1 / -  
Oct 10, 2017   #1
This is a writeup for my History of Design class. Hope to get some feedback from you! Thanks a lot!

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rapid change and development brings new challenges



Recycled paper shopping bag - be sustainable

Industrial revolution is a watershed in human history.

Before industrial revolution, human life was changed many times in many ways due to cognitive revolution, agricultural revolution and scientific revolution. All these changes happened in hundreds of thousands of years.

After industrial revolution, our speed and power of changing the world has been insanely increased and it is still increasing. During the past 300 years, human went from hand production to machines and chemical manufacturing. Urbanization and professionalization tremendously reshaped the way people live and work.

As we are celebrating gorgeous accomplishments brought by science and technology, the very rapid change and development also bring new challenges to us. Healthcare, food safety, renewable energy, sustainable development and environmental protection, all the challenges are warning us that we should slow down, refine or rethink our assumptions rather than press onward. In Silicon Valley where is a heavily tech-and-data-driven world, money and intelligence are pursuing the next hi-tech innovation, such as AI, VR, AR, IoT, to name but a few, while arts and humanities, or design, are playing much subsidiary roles in this game.

Without guidance of humanities, this game could be a dangerous competition which may cause intractable problems that we have never faced. It is time for designers, economists, psychologists, sociologists and more social scientists come onboard and work out a bright future.
Writer2037 /  
Oct 11, 2017   #2
These changes I made are optional. Don't take it too seriously:

Human went from hand manual production to ...
Manual (adj): done with the hands

The very rapid change and development also brings new challenges to us
Just made the sentence a bit shorter and briefer.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Oct 11, 2017   #3
Sherry, this can only be considered a possible outline for topic discussions in your homework. I failed to find a thesis statement that would help me understand what the purpose of your essay is. It sounds like you are just throwing ideas together without any consideration for how these will come together to form informative paragraphs. Each paragraph is disconnected from the next one because of the lack of transition sentences. Again, the lack of transition sentences could be due to the faulty or almost non-existent discussion outline for your essay.

Fix the essay by first, presenting the objective of the discussion. You have the topic presented, but you have not told me why I should care about this homework of yours. What is the point of the discussion and how do you plan to convince me of it? That should be the first paragraph.

After you figure out your thesis statement, you should be able to develop a clearer discussion outline for your essay that will allow you address any preliminary research questions that you might have developed during the course of your research. There seem to be conflicting discussion points in the essay so you need to address those as well. All the discussion points need to connect otherwise, your essay will just be a bunch of disconnected information paragraphs.


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