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Home and International Students who Studying Computer Science in UK, 2010-2012


Ucha MSN 17 / 26 4  
Sep 27, 2016   #1
The bar chart describes the amount of UK University students who studying Computer Science during 2 years between 2010 and 2012. Overall, both British and International students, the proportion of men has fallen and rose while women shows that it increased constantly.

The diagram of British home students shows that the men was stood at 48 students in 2010 and then plunged to 23 students in 2011. However, it was increased steadily to 43 students in 2012. By contrast, side, the number of women was increased gradually during three years from 35 students in 2010 to 45 students in 2012.

On the other side, International students highlight that the total number of men rose from 20 students in 2010. Therefore, it increased dramatically from 23 students in 2011 to 38 students in 2012. Besides, the proportion of women increased steadily within the three years from 13 students in 2010 to 20 students in 2012.



Hujjatul19 45 / 70 3  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
Hi Ucha, it is nice to read your writing but here is some suggestions for you

... shows that the men was stood at 48 students in ...
However, it was increased steadily to ...
... the number of women was increased gradually during ...

ťťI do not think that you wish to use passive voice thought your first and last paragraph show it does not. Be careful.

Keep writing. Best regard.
Sari Trisna 7 / 11  
Sep 27, 2016   #3
Hi Ucha MSN
Let me give you some advice..
....
However, it was increased steadily to 43 ...
... the number of women was increased gradually during three years from 35 ...you could change it : from 35 to 45 students during three years since 2010 until 2012

On the other side,International students highlight ...you could change it : The highlight of International male students rose from 20 students in 2010.
... of women increased steadily withinthe three yearsyou could change it : the whole perod from 13 students in 2010 to 20 students in 2012.

Good Job, I hope it could be useful..


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