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Home is not a place, structure, or a coordinate on a map; What is home?


daydreamer08 3 / 6  
Jan 19, 2014   #1
What is home? Very broad topic.
Home is not a place, structure, or a coordinate on a map. It is somewhere I can laugh about the meaningless moments in life, where I can sing on the top of my lungs in the shower, and where I can sleep soundly in the warmth of my own bed. My home is a garden. Once you walk through that garden or that house--you can feel the life. The butterflies, the morning dew on the edges of the leaves, and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. The life that resonates through a home is love, passion, and warmth.

But what happens once you have to leave that garden? When you say goodbye to everything you once knew? When you venture out past your haven and travel into the unknown? I am yet to find the answer. I am yet to travel to my university and leave my garden. The reason it hurts so much to leave a home is because a home is somewhere we plant our emotions deep in the soil, rendering our hearts, and capturing our souls. It is somewhere life thrives and where I feel safe. The difficulty in leaving home, is trying to rebuild a home. That is the frightening part. Having to figure out right from wrong and trying my best to not make mistakes, or make good mistakes. Having to find a purpose and find a passion, and run with it. To start over, and pull out the weeds, and plant my garden because home is not a place, it is a feeling of life. It gives us purpose in order to accomplish our dreams and catch our mistakes, heartbreaks, and the misfortune. As the wise saying goes ,"Home is where the heart is" and I am ready to travel to my garden and find my heart.

Any suggestions? Is it bad? I hope not.

sntinn 8 / 36 9  
Jan 20, 2014   #2
In overall, I think your work is excellent. I found some phrases from novel. They are beautiful. However, I do not know whether your writing is for an official test. Thus, my suggestion may be just an addition or alternative ways to your work.

1. The reason it hurts so much to leave a home is because a home is somewhere we plant our emotions deep in the soil, rendering our hearts, and capturing our souls.

I would like to suggest that you may find an alternative way for this sentence because " The reason that is B... is because..A " sounds redundant.

My suggestion is that you may make it more concise, despite the number of words.

2. You should be more precise in your ideas and give the example to substantiate your nice reason.

The difficulty in leaving home, is trying to rebuild a home. That is the frightening part. Having to figure out right from wrong and trying my best to not make mistakes, or make good mistakes. Having to find a purpose and find a passion, and run with it.

I feel that your are going to say that your house is not perfect but it is the place where your heart is... you may show that each member has a unique quality and thus, their combination has made your home the most perfect place, or show that your home is the place where you feel comfortable with it ...such as ...although the house is a bit too small, it keeps people in family close and warm.

I hope that my suggestion would help.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Feb 2, 2014   #3
Home is not a place, structure, or a coordinate on a map.

Great start :) This is a small suggestion;
For me, the home is not just a place, structure or a coordinate on a map.

and where I can sleep soundly in the warmth of my own bed

and where I can sleep soundly feeling the warmth of my own bed.

My home is a garden. Once you walk through that garden or that house--you can feel the life.

You need to be careful with this comparison because garden is also a part of your home in its physical interpretation. I like if you avoided this comparison altogether. Otherwise it may confuse the reader.


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