Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Ielts writing task 2: Hosting Olympic Games - is it good for the country?


bubbles117 2 / 7 1  
Jul 5, 2019   #1

organising the olympics



Holding Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think it has positive effects while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

That whether a country should host the Olympic Games has aroused a considerable controversy. While some people deem that it could bring enormous advantages, others assume that the nation would squander a substantial amount of money on it. In my opinion, I partly agree with the former statement.

On the one hand, there are some justifications why a handful of people contend that being the host nation is a waste of money. This is because the country have to squander a host of money on constructing the state-of-the-art facilities for Olympic Games. If the national government is unable to compensate for its crushing financial loss, the country will be burdened with enormous debts. For example, in 2004, the starry-eyed government of Greek spent huge amount of money investing on up-to-date facility without considering its long-term use, resulting in its debt crisis for over two decades.

On the other hand, it should not be forgotten that organizing Olympic Games could exert profound effects on the host nation's economy. It is because the country cost nothing to be its image to the world during the time the Olympic Games takes place. This led to the rapid development of tourism as well as other pieces of work relating to this special event. For instance, the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona produced 88.7 percent of the city's decrease in unemployment.

In conclusion, despite the fact that the country could suffer from financial damages, being the host of the Olympic Games would open up ample opportunities to stimulate its economic growth.

Thank you for reading my essay. Please tell me if there're any problems with it.
From mod: One more useless post = ban.

Maria [Contributor] - / 715 275  
Jul 6, 2019   #2
@bubbles117
Hello.

Change around the beginning/ introductory portion of your writing. I've noticed how you still need to work on having a more academic or formal tone to help you explain things in more vivid detail.

Furthermore, notice how you can improve the overall structure of your sentences through cutting down the words and creating smaller chunks of texts. Focus on having a structured written approach in opposition to a more loose formatting. Organization is key at the end in order to help you relay meaning effectively.

It is appreciated how you were able to make concrete your thoughts with examples. Keep doing that and ensure alongside that the structure is put-together and you'll do great.

Best of luck as always.
OP bubbles117 2 / 7 1  
Jul 7, 2019   #3
@Maria
Thank you for your constructive comments. I'll be having my Ielts exam in this september and I hope I could improve my band score in ielts writing like what you said. Thank you for your support.


Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: Hosting Olympic Games - is it good for the country?