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TOEFL; A HOUSE OR A BUSINESS? Both


abcdefgh 5 / 21 3  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
Having both of them is crucial in my own life. i cannot choose one of them. Of course, in special circumstance in the life, somebody prefers to have one option. In my attitude, if I hire my professional skills and I come them into business, after awhile I can make enough money. it means I can provide all things that I am in need such as house , automobile and so on. I belief, our dreams are infinite so having a successful trade is more imperative than having a house.

1) Everybody cannot begin a successful initiative of business. Individual should have a sense of risk and have a strong desire to be successful. The significant and notable point is that we have to start a trade to relate our own professional skill. In additional, we must believe and be certain that every fail is starting of a new successful and experiences.

2) Maybe improving and making progress in the business appears to be difficult and take many years on you. But their result is sweet and available. In during these years, you had learned to employ all your own experiences to manage dilemma matter in your trade. At this time, you are an independent person. In this point, you are taught how to move ahead on your own competitor.

3)I confess honestly, being active in the business never are company with feeling of secure and comfort and happy. In the most case, you have thrown yourself into the subject of business that you neglect and have lost having happy moment with your friends and family. You are far away on yourself; you don't know what it is to make you happy. Now you have a nice house but you cannot put a lot of time to enjoy it.

4) In the conclusion, even if I am obliged to every day involve with my business, my priority is a business. But the significant point is that I take on in my own attempt to get pleasure from my life. In the short and useful, I work for better life not to life for firm work.

tsungu 3 / 8 2  
Mar 14, 2013   #2
You'd better have an introduction about the subject you're writing on. You begin your essay by directly saying what you think, that makes reader to find it difficult to know what you are discussing about.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 14, 2013   #3
Having both of them is crucial in my own life. i cannot choose one of them.

Well.... in this task, you need to introduce your topic to the reader first. That is the first thing you should do in the introduction. Do not answer the prompt direct. Once you introduce your topic, then express your opinion.

1) Everybody cannot begin a successful initiative of business. Individual should have a sense of risk and have a strong desire to be successful. The significant and notable point is that we have to start a trade to relate our own professional skill. In additional, we must believe and be certain that every fail is starting of a new successful and experiences

You should follow the required essay structure for this task. Your essay needs to have at least 4 paras with introduction, two body paras and a conclusion.

Read essays in this forum to get the knack of this structure.
OP abcdefgh 5 / 21 3  
Mar 19, 2013   #4
thank you dumi i try completly to use your guidness . i think on your message , i only have problem in the strcutre of my essay and another point of my essay is good . i am wait to hear on you
OP abcdefgh 5 / 21 3  
Mar 22, 2013   #5
hello dumi please check my message for the article about break before college on malhamad
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 23, 2013   #6
hey.... i cannot find such article :( send the link :)
OP abcdefgh 5 / 21 3  
Mar 23, 2013   #7
(HI DUMI THIS IS MY MESSAGE FOR MALHAMAD ABOUT BREACK BEFORE COLLEGE IAM LOOKING FORWARD TO KNOW YOUR OPINION THANKS)Hello I try to help you find your mistake and improve your essay. First, your essay not to follow on right essay structure. It is very short and brief. You need to support your idea more by example and more explanation. ( I personally believe that student must have a break) in this sentence , it is better you say should instead of must . Because must expresses a strong obligation. (There have been many argument apropos to the previous question) many arguments not many argument. (There have been many argument apropos to the previous question) a right sentence is :a propose of the previous question. (Before getting back in the education battle) this sentence is unclear. It is better you write: before prepare him\her self for education battle. (Some people say that) the word of say is not suitable word for essay. it is better you write: they believe . (Can make the course pass easily) this sentence is unclear instead of it you can write: can make that he\she pass easily every course in the college. (look to that break as a refreshment stage in their lives) you have to write : that break will look to be as a refreshment stage in their life.(I can confidently say )in essay you can say your opinion with personally no confidently it is better you say: i personally believe or in my opinion . in other hand , the conclusion is the result of your essay not only your idea,

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