Hi, could I please ask you to read my classification essay and help me improve it. My professor is very particular on what she expects to see. I am in wrtg101/undergraduate. Thank you! M
One of the tasks that keep me active as of late is house hunting. House hunting referred to is for an apartment with three bedrooms, preferably on the first floor in quiet suburbs of Ramstein Village. I consider many factors, such as price, size, parking, and distance to the closest park and kindergarten. After visiting over dozen apartments and meeting with their owners, some good and some bad experiences I'd like to differentiate between landlords that I would not rent from: Show Room Landlord, I Never Come Here Landlord, and I Don't Care Landlord.
One of the characteristics of the Show Room Landlord is misleading. I come to see an apartment only to realize that the landlord has forgotten the key, the apartment is still occupied, or the kitchen is under construction and I am offered to see a similar apartment instead. A showroom apartment in a new building doesn't raise a concern, yet I am really suspicious if the apartment is in an older home that I cannot see. Will the appliances work? Will the carpet be clean? Landlord doesn't offer a second meeting, yet he or she will ask you to sign the rent, which makes this group of landlords seem confusing and dishonest to me.
Another characteristic of not-to-rent-from landlords is reluctance. I call those owners I Never Come Here Landlords. After an introductory phone conversation I pull in to a house where grounds are littered with trash, bricks are stacked up into a mountain next to the entrance door, or the blown light bulb in the hallway. It is obvious to me that the landlord does not keep up with the maintenance of his property. With negative first impression I wonder if I will see immediate response to leaking toilet, not-working stove, or broken blinds. Although this group is a passive responder to their house needs, it is not the group that raises my major concern.
The third and the most considerable characteristic of landlords I would not rent from is carelessness; therefore I call this group I Don't Care Landlords. A missing rail on the balcony in apartment previously occupied by a family with kids, his or hers negative remark about immigrants next door, or large mold spots in the bathroom show me a different standard of thinking in this landlord. Health and safety of their renters are clearly not a concern of this landlord. Will my kids be safe here? Do I need to find a carpenter or handyman straight away? This group of landlords does not show compassion and willingness for improvement, in my view a sign of humility is missing.
With so many factors to consider while house hunting landlord should be really not a high priority on my list. But thinking about all those different characteristics and groups of landlords, I know even the best apartments are not worth to be rented.
My professor is very particular on what she expects to see.
What does she expect to see?
One of the requirements might be a 'hook' as the first sentence. Your first sentence is boring! :-) So.. maybe you can think of something compelling.
Oh, I see that you have very good structure! This is excellent. You used one paragraph for each of the terms in that thesis.
Another characteristic of not-to-rent-from landlords is ...---- this is confusing. Do this:
The second category, the "not-to-rent-from landlords," is characterized by...
In the last paragraph, add more sentences to
consider the implications of the fact that these three types of landlords exist. :-)
